Dad, Mom, and my visit

Well the good news is that dad is well. He has 70% use of his arm/shoulder now. He has stopped physical therapy and he is back to a full time job. Which my mother is EXTREMELY happy about. ;)

Mom has received a promotion in her job working in hospice. She said it's kicking her butt but she is going to stick to it. It's more hours and more money. She says she likes more money but hates more hours. Plus she really doesn't like all the paperwork but for the money she is going to try it for a month to give it her best shot. If she doesn't like it she will go back down to prn(as needed). She thought she was going to retire this year in June but she says that doesn't look like it's going to happen. :( Poor mom.

The week of Thanksgiving I went to my parents' home in southern Illinois. I HAD to get away. I was having ALOT of mental issues and just needed some time to relax and get my head on straight again. I stayed until after New Year's. It was so awesome!

Mom and dad are nonjudgemental and that's what I needed. Someone who would just listen and NOT judge my mind, which often times is quite strange. :)~

My biggest problem was I was not happy with my eldest daughter and I didn't know how to "get straight" with her. My other problem is the end of the world. The great catastrophe that is going to occur in 2012 and the end of the world in 2030something. I think it's 2032.

My mom told me my biggest thing after listening to me ramble was I needed to just stop arguing with my kids. She said I let things bother me way too much and to just walk away. If I know it's going to lead to an agrument I must just walk away. If the person who is arguing with me is following me and pecking at my heels I must just ignore or turn around and simple say, "I'm not arguing with you." Then turn and leave. Believe it or not, no matter how simple that sounds it WORKS. I have walked away from SO many arguments since I have been home. My eldest daughter and I have been getting along rather well(knock on wood...knock...knock).

The end of the world issue was a little bit harder for my mom and I to discuss. She believes it's all just plain nonsense but yet she knows in my mind and heart it's VERY real to me. She didn't judge she said that it's just two different opinions but we could still talk about it. So I let it all out. How I KNOW I'm saved and I KNOW I will go to heaven when he comes "as a theif in the night". I know everything will be ok with me because I will be up in heaven and won't have to go thru the Tribulation. Yet I have terrible feelings about this. I get panicky, I cry, I get angry, every type of emotion, bad emotion, you can think of. She said she believes it's because I'm scared of the unknown that is the biggest issue. The other issue is that I worry about my family. My hubby won't be saved because he doesn't believe and my eldest daughter won't be saved because she doesn't believe either. My mother believes that is something that is bothering me because they will have to go thru the Tribulation and that is what scares me. She also says I'm scared of death. Even though I KNOW I will go to heaven I'm still terrified of the whole death issue. So HOW the heck do you get over that? Faith, pure faith. I have been trying to do this and it's hard, very hard. I guess noone said it was going to be easy. This is something my parents can't help me with but they sure can listen and that helps. I didn't hear my mother say, "Well you just worry too much and it's a bunch of phooey." She accepted how I felt and listened. Even though she DOES think I worry too much and she DOES think it's a bunch of phooey she didn't throw that in my face.

While I was there I was able to sort thru my brain, laugh, cry, relax, and get back in touch with myself. I REALLY didn't want to come back to reality!

Yet here I am in reality again and I think it's time to get back to southern Illinois. :)