update on dad

Talked to mom today and she said dad is doing extremely well. The biggest drug he has taken is an ibuprofen! Told you the man was tough! She said he tells her his shoulder just aches.

Mom said he doesn't have a shirt big enough to go around the sling and himself and she told him she would go to Wal-Mart and buy him some and he told her NO. So I'm sending 3 shirts to him from my hubby so he can at least cover up when he can go out in 2wks.

He was looking in the mirror last night and said, "Hey, my shoulders are even again." YEAH!

So mom said she is extremely happy with everything.

The other thing is the head of the hospital DID call her back yesterday and talked with my mom and she is going to have another person call and talk with mom and my dad about the whole situation. I think a certain Dr. Kenny is going to be in trouble! He better learn some bedside manners!

The other thing my mother told the head of the hospital is that there really should be some type of program or classes offered to hospital staff to learn how to "deal" with post traumatic stress syndrome patients! I think this would be a wonderful idea and I told my mother her and dad should really think about starting up such a program. I'm sure my father is not the only patient like that.

Anyway, I'm happy with the report I got and glad dad is doing so well. :)

Happy day!

Medical People really don't get it

I have told so many of my friends I HATE doctors. I truly do. Yes, I know, I go to them when I'm on my death bed to have them fix me but I truly do not like them. I have told a few doctors that too. I like to get it out in the open so we know where the other person stands on the "relationship". I don't trust them. They are human and can err, but too many of them have a "God like" attitude and it pisses me off!

Yet on the other hand I'm VERY intrigued with the medical field. When I hear of something I have to research it. It just blows my mind on how the body works. I love the medical for humans and animals. Science in general maybe?

My dad was in a car accident in June of this year. Well, actually it was a motorcycle accident. He was hit by a 70+yr old woman who ran a red light. Totaled my dad's bike and left him with bruises, 3 broken ribs, and a seperated shoulder. He is fine but since then his shoulder has been messed up and nothing seems to be working.

When my dad first got into the accident the hospital he went to did some x-rays of his shoulder. They told him they could do surgery but they couldn't guarantee it would fix it. So he opted to not have the surgery. They never told him to go to a specialist. Then after a few months it wasn't better so he went back to the doctor and they told him he needed physical therapy. They wanted him to go five times a week. He went maybe 2 or 3 times a week because he told my mom it was too painful. If you know my dad he can handle pain so telling my mother it was too painful was saying alot. She told him she didn't think he needed physical therapy because she felt it was doing more harm than good on the shoulder.

He finally decided to go to another doctor and they sent him on to a shoulder specialist. All this doctor does is shoulders. He told my dad he should have had surgery 4 mos. ago and that his shoulder would never heal and the physical therapy was doing more harm than good. HMMM....interesting. Apparently the muscle in his arm was torn to shreds and it couldn't heal. There wasn't anything in there for the body to repair. It simply couldn't do it.

He told my father he would do the surgery and put a cadaver muscle in there and it would take 6mos to recover! So the surgery was scheduled.

The day of the surgery my father did everything he was suppose to do like not eating and such. They called my dad and told him the doctor was running behind and they didn't know when they would be able to get my dad in for his surgery. Now mind you, his surgery was scheduled for 11:30am. They had called and pushed it to 10:00am and then they called and said 10:30am and now they say they don't know when it will happen. He is a hypoglycemic and can't go without food for too long and he was already starting to get hungry AND irritable! Not a good combination. He told them this and they said he could come in and they could monitor him until the doctor was ready. He said he felt like a piece of meat. He said he wanted to reschedule and the nurses told him they would have to call the doctor and find out. My dad told them he would do that himself. The doctor called my dad back himself and told my dad he was waiting for this machine he would be using in the surgery so he wouldn't have to use a cadaver muscle. My dad told him to reschedule and the doctor said he only did surgeries on Fridays and he would let my dad know when he could fit him into the surgery schedule!

Ok, so that right there threw me into a tizzy. I'm thinking if you know you are going to be operating on a patient on a specific day wouldn't you have the machine there the day or two before so you wouldn't have to look like an idiot? Hmmm....so we are starting off on the right foot, aren't we?

My dad had to go to the hospital prior to this first scheduled surgery and pre-register. He told the woman there he would have to have my mom in the recovery BEFORE he woke up because she is the only person he can hear and he is not such a nice person when coming out of being put to sleep. So the woman red flagged his chart all over the place to let them know this.
My dad even told the surgeon this and the surgeon said, "There won't be any need of that because the staff can handle it. If I let you back there then I would have to let everyone back there. I can't give you special treatment." Hmmm...OK, your choise there Doc!

So a week later the surgeon was able to get my dad in for this surgery. Now you must first know my dad is a VERY hard person to get to go to sleep. When he went to get his wisdom teeth out they gave him the highest dose a human can have without killing them and he still was not asleep! That tell you something? My dad has to get it in his mind to allow them to put him to sleep or it just isn't happening.

Day of surgery my dad goes in and they give my mom a pager to let her know when the surgery is over. She was out for a smoke and the pager hadn't gone off but when she got back to the waiting room the nurses were practically running to greet her. They told her they had been looking all over for her that she MUST come back to the recovery room. My mom said she thought, "Nope you said you could handle situations like this so go ahead, handle it!" Then she thought better.

My mom went with them and as soon as she got in the recovery room they were getting out the straps and were getting ready to strap him into the bed. That would have been their FIRST, maybe second, or third mistake??? My dad would have ruined what the doctor just spent an hour and a half repairing! He was fighting and he was fighting BIG time.

My mom told them to NOT do what they were doing and told them all to just BACK OFF. She got near him and got his attention and he looked at her and said, "You sure are pretty." She said she knew then he wasn't in the present! :)

She leaned in and said, "L...you are in the year 2008 you need to repeat that back to me."

My dad looked at her and said, "Where are my men? Where is my rifle? I'm hurt, I have to help my men."

My mom said, "L...you are not in the military. You are in the year 2008. Repeat this back to me."

He said, "Where is Gerard?" Gerard was one of my dad's men.

My mom said, "The last I knew he was living in Texas working as a lawyer and he is just fine."

My dad said, "I'm tired. I'm so tired of killing people. I don't want to kill anymore people."

My mom said, "You don't have to. You are here in 2008. You retired in 1987. This is the year 2008."

My mom was crying during this seeing my dad go thru this. I even started crying during her telling me this.

During all this time as she is holding him down and keeping him calm nurses are coming and going and keep trying to come up to my dad. As they are my mom puts up her hand and tells them to stop and not come near and asked what they needed. She would then tell my dad who they were and what they wanted. One time a nurse came up and went to take his blood pressure and he swung at her. He didn't know who she was and thought she was the "enemy". All he knew is that he was hurt and he needed to protect his men. He didn't know anything else.

The nurses just didn't understand you could NOT touch him. You could not go near him. He can kill a man with his bare hands and these nurses would not have been anything to him.

Then a doctor came in. He shuffled right up to my dad and my mom said my dad was scooting to get out of the bed. He looked right at this doctor and said, "I don't like that man." My mom said if looks could kill that doctor would have been dead. The doctor didn't even pay attention. My mom told him to STOP and to stay right where he was and the doctor said, "I'm Dr. Kenny and I came to see if he wants that block we talked about before he went to sleep." My mom tried asking him what block he was talking about and the doctor totally blew my mom off and wouldn't acknowledge her and was STILL trying to get near my dad. My mom kept telling him to BACK OFF all the while trying to keep my dad still. My dad at this point was fighting to get up to get away from this man or kill him we aren't sure which. Finally the doctor got upset enough and huffed off. My mom then asked to speak to the head of the hospital because that doctor was WRONG.

So here is another mistake. When you are just coming out of a sleep like that you are NOT awake by any means and this man is coming in and asking my dad to make a decision on his health care? Ummm.....can't make rational important decisions!! Don't they make you sign papers before going into surgery that warns you about making decisions like that and NOT to??? My dad was, in his mind, laying in a field in Vietnam hurt and looking for his rifle! HELLO!!!!!!

By the way, the head of the hospital was in a "meeting" and my mother was still waiting to hear from her when she called in the afternoon to let me know how he was doing!

My mom did hear one of the nurses say, "post traumatic" and then they got what was going on!

They finally were able to get my dad's blood pressure under control to move him into a room and then another nurse walked in and my mom stopped him. She asked his name and what he needed. He said his name was Mike and needed another blood pressure. My mom told him to give her the cuff and she would take it for him. So he did. SMART NURSE FINALLY! She took the blood pressure and let Mike know what it was. Mike said, "you passed the test." My dad looked at him and said, "She passed the test a long time ago." Then my mom had to explain to Mike she was an RN. Mike had to do some other things to my dad and my mom looked at dad and told him who Mike was and what he needed to do and my dad looked at mom and said, "2008?" My mom said, "Yes, 2008." She knew at that point he was back to where he needed to be and things were going to be fine.

Then the nurse who had written all over the charts for my mother to be there BEFORE my dad woke up came in to see my parents. My dad grabbed her hand and said, "Hi Kathy, nice to see you." She apologized so much to my mom. My mom told her it wasn't her fault and to not get upset. She did her job it's the other people who didn't listen.

This just infuriates me! I have had ONE doctor in my whole life tell me I'm the person who knows my family, children, and myself better than any doctor and doctors should listen more. HELLO! Why can't they all be like him? My dad AND my mother both told these people my mother needed to be in the room before my dad was to wake up and everyone chose to ignore their request.

I told mom I think they just hear so many stories they just blow most of the stories off but yet they shouldn't because there could be that one rare case where the people are really, truly serious about what they say! In this case they found out!

My mom works for hospice and she said when they first start a cancer patient out on morphine they give them .5mg of it. When my dad woke up he immediately started fighting them and they couldn't control him so they gave him 20mg of morphine and 10mg of toradol and the man was STILL coming out of the bed swinging and fighting them. Any "normal" person would have been sound asleep again but not him!

My mom said, "I still believe dynamite comes in small packages!"

The block the doctor wanted to give my dad? My mom asked my dad about it since the doctor wouldn't tell my mother! My dad said it was a shot they give in the neck into a certain nerve and it "blocks" the pain for 12-24hrs BUT it messes with your diaphram too and it can stop your breathing and kill you! My mom said, "Do you want that?" My dad said, "NO!" Could you imagine if my mom wasn't there? First of all Dr. Kenny wouldn't still be among the living and my dad would be back on the surgery table NEXT Friday to repair what the doctor had to repair!

My dad's shoulder was so bad the doctor still had to use a cadaver muscle because he couldn't save the other muscle. Now my dad's shoulder is immoblized for TWO MONTHS. Which is going to be very hard for him because he is HARD to keep down. The doctor said he should have 85% use of his shoulder once it's all done. Again, they don't know my dad. He had shattered his wrist one time and the surgeon told him 80-90% mobility in that wrist and he has 100% mobility. The doctor was totally amazed.

So, this should be a fun 2 mos. The doctor said he will be in an extreme amount of pain this weekend but if he can get thru this weekend it will be all down hill after that.

My mom is going to write a formal complaint against Dr. Kenny and she will also write about how the medical staff REALLY needs to listen to people when they tell them something. GO MOM!

Medical people really don't get it!

Abe Lincoln

My mom use to live here in Princeton, Mn and her house was a huge, old, beautiful home but it had it's spirits too.

We were actually sitting around just talking about "ghost"stories and we started talking about our gifts. She said she can see things and she has been able to talk to things as well. Just like standing or sitting in front of a person who is alive. I think I could do this if I truly wanted to but I won't allow myself to get that open. It's a little too much for my mind to handle, I think. I was telling her how I can tell someone if the spirit is male or female and usually an approximate age. I think at this time my mother was a little skeptical on this because if I can't SEE them then how do I really know.

I do believe she thought I could just sense a spirit. She knew I am a receiver because we have played many games without speaking and I usually win. :)

Anyway, on this particular day I told her I knew of a spirit around her home. She was like, ya right. I looked up at her and without missing a beat I said, "Like the Abe Lincoln man with the tall hat that walks around the premises?" Her jaw just dropped. She was totally shocked on the fact I knew this!

It was funny to see my mother shocked. Yet she admitted seeing Abe Lincoln walk by her kitchen window more than a few times. :)

Nice to know he has visited my mother's property.

ouija board

Because of who I am I have to investigate and study almost everything I hear. I HAD to try the ouija board. I wasn't going to buy it for myself, that's for sure. A good friend of mine decided she was going to buy it for me so she did.

Of course I was intrigued. Her and I tried playing it a couple of times and NOTHING. We couldn't get it to move or do anything remotely interesting. Interesting too is that my mom and I tried in my mother's home and we couldn't get it to even wiggle. I think my mother and I are HEAVILY protected by good.

I was also with a new group of friends at this time and the one woman's mom was into Tarot cards. I'm not big into those but I still thought some of her stories were cool. She also had a gift but I can't remember what that was now. This woman would tell me things that you can do and I was intrigued and started doing them. When I look back I now believe she was a witch and NOT a very nice one. I was falling into her trap, so to speak.

Anyway, I get away from the topic. My hubby and I decided to play with the ouija. He doesn't believe in this hocus pocus stuff so it would be perfect! Believer and non believer. If it moved I KNEW it was for real.

We did what we SHOULDN'T have done on many accounts but one of them is playing on the bed. You don't want to do this because it's an insult to the spirits. Also we never blessed anything and we never played with the candles you are suppose to use to protect yourself.

Can you say, newbie? Can you say, stupid?

While my hubby and I were playing it moved. It spoke to us. We had a spirit come thru named Omar and one come thru named Liz. The Liz one I believed to be my parternal grandmother. My dad asked me questions to ask it and it got all of them wrong so we later figured it wasn't her!

The thing is that weird things started going on. Strange things. Well, stranger than our "normal" strange that goes on in our lives. Scary things actually. We must have let something thru and didn't realize it.

I decided I had to do something to make these things stop. They were getting more frequent and scaryier. I don't remember what they all were but believe me it wasn't fun. Maybe my mind has shut down what they were because they were too scary, I don't know.

I laid in bed one day and I told God, "God, if you make these things go away I will stop hanging out with this new group of friends and I will NEVER EVER again play with this board!" Guess what? Those things ended. I lived up to my promise. I stopped hanging with those people and I never ever have played the ouija again. I still have the board and I have often thought about picking it up and playing with it the CORRECT way(if there really is a correct way) but then I remember my promise and the thought flies away.

I don't want to see what would happen if I broke my promise to God and played. NOT something I want to test.

My advice is DON'T play with the ouija. No matter how intriguing it is. It never results in anything good.

My friend bought it at Toys R Us! I think it should be OFF THE MARKET. I can not imagine children playing with these!

tough woman

I had a friend in the foster based pet rescue I used to work for. She had learned about my "gift" and wanted me to go to her father's house and read it for her. She said she believed someone may have been murdered there because of a mysterious red stain on the floor which they were never able to get out of the floor.

So off we went to check out her father's home.

I got there and it was a 2 story home. I could tell it was old but those old houses always intrigue me, haunted or not!

I like to walk the outside of the home because I can sometimes pick up where the energy is coming from. It points me in the right direction, per se.

This particular house was bringing me more upstairs but yet pulling me downstairs too. I just had to get inside!

We went inside and I was pulled towards the staircase. I was also pulled toward the formal dining room area. The woman who was communicating with me was a crabby woman who was NOT giving up information easily. I believe she was comfortable and she didn't want to be bothered. She was not so nice!

She brought me upstairs. When I read homes people are allowed to follow me but not allowed to talk to me unless I ask them a question. If I ask a question it must be in the shortest form possible. Just a simple answer. We can get lengthy after the reading and comparing what I got right and what I didn't.

I went into the room on my left. I went up to the window and I was frozen to this window. I looked outside and I was trying to communicate with this tough woman but she just stood in the window. I then left that room. I tried going into the other rooms but nothing was there. The room with the stain will still be a mystery because I found nothing wrong in that room.

I do believe something happened on the stairs though. Whether it be an accident I don't know. Whether someone was seriously hurt, I don't know. I just know something happened on that staircase and it involved the tough woman.

I then went back downstairs and tried talking to her in the formal dining area. She just wouldn't answer anything. She was very tight lipped. She wouldn't even tell me if this was her house or anything. I finally told my friend I wasn't going to get anywhere with this woman and I apologized. Sometimes things like that happen. Sometimes we just don't get anything.

My friend said the most significant thing about this reading was when I was in the bedroom by the window. I had told her while I was up there what this woman looked like. I said she was dressed in an old fashioned white dress and had brown hair and she wasn't really that old. Maybe in her 30's. My friend said it was almost like I was in a trance when I was telling her this. She said the other spooky thing was I was standing in the exact window and the exact same pose as the woman when other people have seen her there! Ok, so then I was freaked out! My friend said it was almost like I was that woman I was speaking of!

That's the story of the tough woman who wouldn't share her story!

suicide or homicide, that is the question

When I was working with a foster based pet rescue here in Mn. I became friends with this one woman. We became so close we hung out all the time it seemed. So, of course, I told her about my "gift". She wanted to know if I could tell if someplace was haunted just by driving by or walking by. I told her it depended on the energy and how strong that energy was. She decided to test me a little bit.

She said there was this case she had went on, her very first one actually, when she was an EMT. She said there were alot of questions to this case and she wanted to know if I could tell her some things about it. I told her it sounded like fun so off we went.

She drove me down this street and said it was one of these houses and she wanted to see if I could narrow it down for her. I told her to please stop the car and let me walk the street. So we got out and started walking. I usually pace, or so I have been told.

I narrowed it down to three houses and then two and then couldn't decide on either one. She finally told me I had done pretty well and one of the houses I had narrowed it down to was, indeed, the house.

She told me which house it was. I immediately knew WHY I was having trouble deciding on which house. The "spirit" was in the room on the side of the house which would have been in the middle of both houses.

I told her I needed to get up by that window. So we walked onto the property. Shouldn't have done that! I told her it was a man and he was young.

Well then a man walked out of the house! It was the current owner. My friend started talking to him and telling him what I was doing. He was fascinated and told us to come in and let him know what was going on. Ok, another thing you should NEVER do!

We walked in and I HAD to go to the right of the house toward the bedroom. The new owner said, "That's my son's room and he never wants to sleep in there." I told him this man who was in there wasn't a mean person but he was VERY VERY sad and depressed. I told them I saw him sitting up against a wall with a drink in his hand. I told them he had a white t-shirt on and it was full of blood on the front side. I told them there was something about the closet but I couldn't decide what that was. I told them the man was telling me he had died from the "drink". I'm assuming it was alcohol poisoning. My friend said that was wrong, he had hung himself and it wasn't in the bedroom. I was adamant this was WRONG. She asked how he was sitting and I told her with his knees slightly bent. She just kept quiet.

The owner of the house then did know a man had hung himself in this house, or supposedly hung himself.

The owner then told me to come to the basement. We proceeded down into the basement. We came down the steps and to my right was nothing but a wall and some insulation. I looked at the owner and said, "There were shelves here. Like big bookshelves. Where are they?" The owner about flipped and asked me how the hell I knew that? I told him the man who was communicating to me told me. The new owner was blown away.

My friend asked if I could locate where he was hanging. I told her no because he didn't die here. He did NOT hang himself. He died of alcohol poisoning and his girlfriend moved him or someone moved him to make it look like suicide. I said he was hurt and broken because of his girlfriend.

My friend then asked me if I could tell her what type of shoes he was wearing. I told her they were construction boots. They were untied. Sort of like the young kids wear with the bagging pants and the construction boots laced but untied so they flop around. Then she asked what type of pants. I told her he had cut off shorts with red boxers on. So the cut off shorts were too loose and they were showing the boxer shorts. She asked if he had a shirt on. I said he did upstairs with the blood on it from him throwing up blood but you didn't find it on him when you guys came to take him to the hospital. She was FLOORED. She said I had gotten everything correct.

She asked if I could get a name from him. I told her for some reason I have never been able to do that. I'm not sure why but I have always been wrong on that. She said his name was Scott.

She said when they came to get him they believed it to NOT be a suicide. His legs were bent in the wrong way. So like he had been moved from a sitting position to the place where they hung him. She said it was always a suspicious hanging but they could never prove otherwise.

I know of two other women who knew this man and his family. They remember when this all happened. They both told me the same story. The story is a man lived in the house with his girlfriend. There were drugs involved and yes lots of alcohol. They said his girlfriend had left him and he fell into a DEEP depression. The girlfriend would go over there and check on him from time to time because she was worried about him and his depression. They believe the girlfriend had found him but weren't quite sure or couldn't remember. Then called the ambulance and the EMTs came and got him.

So, what do I believe? I believe someone, whether it be his girlfriend or not came and checked on him. Found him in the closet or bedroom. Removed his shirt and moved him to the basement to make it look like a suicide. Why? I think because of the drugs. They may have been on drugs and thought noone would believe them and would be arrested? Who knows but they didn't want to take the chance so they made it look like he hung himself. They removed the shirt because of the blood. maybe thinking that someone would get suspicious? I don't honestly know.

All I know, for sure, is this man died in that bedroom and from alcohol posioning and a broken heart!

Old Granny House

When we lived in Des Moines, Ia. my parents lived in Carlisle, Ia. It was maybe a 1/2hr drive. My hubby and I had our 2 children by then and they were just little tikes. We weren't pregnant with our youngest yet. We were thinking about buying a house because we currenty lived in an apartment and wanted to get out of the "ghetto". Trust me, where this apartment was it WAS the ghetto.

I remember it was warmer days and my mom told me she wanted me to go see this house with her. She said it was just a cute little house that would be good as a starter house. It was right there in Carlisle so it was CLOSE and mom always likes that.

We walked over to the house and it WAS cute. It was blue and one level. That was nice. Cute and quaint. I walked unto the property and immediately felt strange. My mom was ahead of me already looking in the windows. I just couldn't bring myself to do this. I could NOT go and look in these windows! I walked around the side of the house and I was quite a ways from the window and the house. I was mustering up the courage to go look and see how cute it was inside.

I walked around to the back of the house and my mother was on the other side. I got the courage to look thru the back door into the mudroom. I put my face up against a window and there was a little old lady staring back at me and not too happy about me looking into the window. I FLEW back, ran towards my mother and screamed, "I know why this place won't sell it's HAUNTED!"

She just started laughing and laughing. I was telling her this was not funny at all. She said, "I was just testing you to see if you still had your skills." Oh what a HORRIBLE trick. I will never forget that.

I guess the story was this old lady lived in the house and she died right in the front room of the house and so people knew someone had died there so they wouldn't buy it.

I told my mother there would be NO way I would buy that house. Not for anything.

I guess I answered my mother's question on whether or not I still had "skill".

Earthquake bed

I was laying in bed last night trying to ease off to sleep when it moved. Normally, this wouldn't be such a big deal considering I have four dogs and 3 of them sleep with me so YA the bed moves. Yet last night no dogs were currently in the bed with me! The other weird thing is my bed is a water bed. Nothing can get under the bed and if something moves the bed it's got to be something BIG and STRONG. It's not a full motion bed it's the kind of mattress that you push and it does a half wave? So, it's not your typical water bed you may be thinking of.

Was I freaked out? Really? No. I know that's strange but hey, everyone says I'm crazy!

So here I was thinking about the bed moving. It brought me back to my younger years. My VERY youthful years.

We traveled alot due to my father being in the Air Force so we had many houses we lived in so I can't say that it was one particular home or not.

I always had a hard time sleeping and still do. I can stay in bed FOREVER but that doesn't mean I'm actually sleeping. I like it because it's quiet and people leave me alone. Anyway, when I was little I would flip on my stomach, put my head in my pillow and start banging my head against the pillow. This would eventually put me sleep, or maybe I was knocking myself out, truly I don't know. When I look back on what I did I think I should have been committed right then. Yet my mother never knew I did that, or at least I don't think she did. I also sucked my thumb until I was a teenager and don't have ANY teeth or mouth problems!

So when I would do this banging of the head I would stop, wait, then start again. Sometimes it wouldn't work so I would flip back over and lay there with the blankets over my head and just wait. For what? Well whatever was going to happen.

Usually on these particular hard nights to get to sleep I would feel the bed move. I'm not talking just a bump. I'm talking Exorcist style moving. I would just lay there wondering what was going to come and get me. Thinking the worst. Yet, truly, I think I was doing this myself. Maybe it was the effect of banging my head? Seriously though, it would happen sometimes without me banging my head.

I know we lived on Guam for about 2yrs and I would have been 7-9yrs old during our stay. I know they have earthquakes all the time there so was it that? No, because it happened alot in Texas when we moved there. Strangely enough I don't remember it happening anymore after we moved from Maine. I was 11, I think, when we left Maine and moved to Mississippi.

Strangely enough I don't remember being able to "move" things anymore after that age either.

I, honestly, think I was moving my bed. Just like firestarter when she was frustrated? I was so frustrated I couldn't go to sleep that I started shaking my bed. The energy had to go somewhere and I couldn't kick my walls!

So, I wonder? Last night was I so frustrated with something I moved my bed? Alot of things have been happening here lately that are unexplainable. hmmm....I wonder.

Out of the mouth of babes

This is just TOO priceless. Someone sent this to my DH and then he sent it to me. Looks like it's from channelbee. Whoever it's from, it's awesome!

My baby is an adult now

Lea turned 18 yesterday, October 6, 2008, and for a LONG time she wanted to get a tattoo. She actually has been wanting to get one since she was 18 but I refused to let her have one. She had to pay with her own money to get this. She used all the birthday money she got from everyone and paid for this tattoo.

This is the tattoo she originally picked out for herself. She has been talking about this for a LONG long time.

My good friend, Moria, knows of a tattoo artist and so she took Lea to visit with him. They pretty much talked Lea out of this particular tattoo. They told her SO many people had this tattoo and they didn't want her to get something EVERYONE had. So when she came home we decided that we needed to create one for her. This wasn't an easy task.

Her first tattoo had to be special. The tattoo artist basically told her tattoos are suppose to mean something and this tattoo WAS going to mean something because it is for her Grandma Brinson. Lea and Grandma Brinson are pretty close so Lea wanted her very first one to symbolize Grandma Brinson.

I told her about ambigrams and how cool those are and her boyfriend, DJ, actually designed one but Lea didn't like it at all.

Then we did a lot of looking at pics on the internet and we finally decided on one.

This tattoo is not only special because of Grandma Brinson but because her boyfriend, DJ, created it.

Here it is:

I KNOW the last one is VERY hard to see but we will get better pics and I'm SURE Lea will get them up on her myspace.

One cool thing is that her Grandma Brinson still thinks she is getting the tiger butterfly tattoo. She has NO clue Lea has designed one just for her. So, if you talk with Grandma Brinson NO TELLING!

I now will tell you what this tattoo means.

1) The numeral two symbol is actually the sign of Gemini. That's my mother's zodiac sign

2) The pink ribbon is for breast cancer

3) The initials, CJB, are my mother's initials

4) The numeral two also symbolizes how many times my mother has beat breast cancer. TWICE!

We were going to put my mother's favorite flowers, lilacs, in the middle of it but the tattoo artist said it would just look like a big blob so Lea decided to leave those out.

So? How did she handle this? Well her leg was twitching at one point. Alyssa, Moria, and DJ were laughing because her boob started to twitch also. Lea says it HURTS! Today, October 7th, she is taking advil for the pain. :) She is handling it well though.

One other thing, she also got her nose pierced! She's a glutton for punishment!

This is a pic of her nose ring BUT she did take this one out and she put a tiny pink one in that is barely noticeable. Looks nice.

All in all her 18th was a good one, at least she says it was. She said hardly anyone noticed her nose ring but EVERYONE wanted to see her tattoo. She's proud of both things.

I can't believe she is 18 and an adult.

WOW, I'M GETTING OLD!

Golden Mom

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/26788632#26788632

Because some of my good friends own goldens and how can you NOT love a golden?

Don't Vote

Empathy

For those of you who might not know what an empath is.

Empathy is the ability to read and understand people and be in-tune with or resonate with others, voluntarily or involuntarily of one's empath capacity.Empaths have the ability to scan another's psyche for thoughts and feelings or for past, present, and future life occurrences. Many empaths are unaware of how this actually works, and have long accepted that they were sensitive to others. (this is TOTALLY me)
Empaths Sense Deep EmotionsEmpathy is a feeling of another's true emotions to a point where an empath can relate to that person by sensing true feelings that run deeper than those portrayed on the surface. (I don't like to be touched because this is how it transfers to me)People commonly put on a show of expression. This is a learned trait of hiding authentic expression in an increasingly demanding society.An empath can sense the truth behind the cover and will act compassionately to help that person express him/herself, thus making them feel at ease and not so desperately alone.Empaths experience empathy towards family, children, friends, close associates, complete strangers, pets, plants and inanimate objects. Empathy is not held by time or space. Thus, an empath can feel the emotions of people and things at a distance. Some are empathic towards animals (ie: The Horse Whisperer), to nature, to the planetary system, to mechanical devices or to buildings etc. Others will have a combination of the above.
Empaths Have Deep Sense of KnowingEmpaths are highly sensitive. This is the term commonly used in describing one's abilities (sensitivity) to another's emotions and feelings. Empaths have a deep sense of knowing that accompanies empathy and are often compassionate, considerate, and understanding of others.There are also varying levels of strength in empaths which may be related to the individualís awareness of self, understanding of the powers of empathy, and/or the acceptance or non-acceptance of empathy by those associated with them, including family and peers. Generally, those who are empathic grow up with these tendencies and do not learn about them until later in life.
Empathy is InheritedEmpathy is genetic, inherent in our DNA, and passed from generation to generation.(Is that ever true!) It is studied both by traditional science and alternative healing practitioners.Empathy has both biological/genetic and spiritual aspects.Empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels. From their position in observing what another is saying, feeling and thinking, they come to understand another. They can become very proficient at reading another personís body language and/or study intently the eye movements.(Eyes are the window to the soul) While this in itself is not empathy, it is a side-shoot that comes from being observant of others. In a sense, empaths have a complete communication package.
How Empathy WorksWhile there is much we don't yet understand about how empathy works, we do have some information. Everything has an energetic vibration or frequency and an empath is able to sense these vibrations and recognize even the subtlest changes undetectable to the naked eye or the five senses.Words of expression hold an energetic pattern that originates from the speaker. They have a specific meaning particular to the speaker. Behind that expression is a power or force-field, better known as energy. For example, hate often brings about an intense feeling that immediately accompanies the word. The word hate becomes strengthened with the speaker's feeling. It is that person's feelings (energy) that are picked up by empaths, whether the words are spoken, thought or just felt without verbal or bodily expression.

Ok, I'm starting to scare MYSELF

I am a member of cafemom and I am in alot of groups. I belong to a few paranormal groups on there. Alot of times people will post pics of haunted places, their own homes, themselves, etc.

I came across this picture and the FIRST thing I thought of was a mental institution. Criminally insane people lived here!

The thing is if the person posts with pictures I do NOT read the history or the post first. I want to see what I can pick up first and then compare what I see or feel to what others have picked up.

The insane were SCREAMING at me from this pic.

I went back to look up the history and here is what it said:

Historical Information: Ashmore Estates is a three floor building that was built in 1916. It has housed people who were indigent and those who had mental disabilities. From 1916 to around 1956 the building was the Coles County Almshouse located on the 200-300 acre Coles County Poor Farm. During that period as many as 100 people died in the building. From 1956 to 1976 it housed the "mentally impaired" as a mental institution. In 1976 Paul Swinford purchased the building and reworked it to be used as a ICFDD (Intermediate Care Facility for the Developmentally Disabled). The building remained in use until 1987 when it was closed due to lack of funding. 9 paranormal groups have visited here since July 2006. All have said the building is very active.

Ok, I now am scaring MYSELF!

Inez Tiny KoKoMo

This is a pretty interesting story, I think. I have told FEW people this story and it has brought tears to their eyes. Maybe it's just because they know me personally and they knew our precious KoKo but none the less I need to tell this story also.

The night before KoKo's crossing over I sat with him for a LONG time. I cried the entire time and he just looked at me with his soft eyes and listened to everything I had to say to him. I believe he really did understand everything I told him.

I was telling him how sorry I was that I had to make this decision but that I had made a promise to him to not suffer and he was telling me by not eating it was time to let go. I also told him that we would be getting another puppy and I know that he knew we were. I told him that we would more than likely get a sheppie puppy and to guide us to the right puppy. I was looking at traveling to Chicago for a shepherd puppy! I told him that when he did lead us to that puppy to help us name him also. I said I had faith in him that he would do this for us and I would make sure I was listening to everything that came our way.

Well, after KoKo crossed over I did my own healing by writing his story to put in his box, which is like nine pages long and I also made the video of him which is on this blog. That was the way I healed. Cried and cried and cried. Yet I KNEW I wanted a puppy.

I KNEW that this puppy would NEVER EVER replace KoKo because, to be honest, no dog will ever be able to walk in his paws! Yet I just felt I needed another puppy. I had Sasha but I wanted a sheppie pup. I HAD to have a sheppie pup.

A few days after KoKo crossed over I fell ill to a HORRIBLE bladder infection. I actually was bleeding it was so bad. I also fell ill to one of the WORST migraines I have had since I was diagnosed with them. It was just horrible. I could barely walk into the doctor's office! So I was confined to bed for a day or so and it made me think. Think of how selfish I was being on wanting to get a sheppie puppy. My dear hubby said that he didn't want a shepherd. They are too hyper and they get big QUICKLY. He said he liked having the little dogs in the house. Yet because I wanted a sheppie he was going to let me go to Chicago and get that puppy I so wanted. I thought how selfish this was because my dear hubby isn't strong enough to handle a big dog anymore. With his RA he isn't capable. Heck with the small dogs they pull and hurt him, let alone a BIG dog. People kept giving me grief saying that I'm a dog trainer I shouldn't have a dog that pulls. Ya, they will eventually learn this but until then my honey can't handle the dog? I don't think that is right.

So, after I could get up from bed I decided to go in search of another cavalier(cavvy). My hubby and I looked at the four different colors and he wanted another blanheim like Sasha but I told him I wanted a different one. The only one that I really really liked was a tri. So I found someone that was selling a girl and boy tri puppy.

We set up a meeting and went and looked at them. I didn't like the little boy at all. He was too timid for me and what I wanted. The little girl was nice enough but I wanted a BOY! I was sitting there trying to figure out how to tell the breeder I didn't want this little boy. We sat there for 2hrs talking to her. She finally said that she had a "special" little boy who she was thinking about keeping because he was "special". She said I sounded like the right family for him and she felt comfortable letting me meet him. She said his name was Tiny Boy. I was ready for this. She brought him upstairs, put him down on the ground, and I patted the floor and he spotted me, ran as fast as he could, and landed in my lap! I KNEW this was the boy I was taking home. He was older by a month than the ones I was looking at but they were twice his size. He was only 2lbs and he was 3mos old. Dr. I.(my favorite vet) was his vet and he had looked him over and there wasn't anything wrong with him at all. We took him home.

Well, we didn't take him straight home we took him straight to Dr. I. He said, "Oh, who do we have here?" I told him who the puppy was and the breeder and everyone just flocked to him because EVERYONE in the clinic knew little Tiny Boy! They were SO happy that I was chosen for him.

We were sitting in the room waiting to get a look over and my one friend who works at the clinic said you should name him Mo. He has a little mohawk on his head so that's why she thought of that name. I said, "Oh that's a dumb name!" My hubby was in the room too and he said ever so quietly, "Kokamo". I said, "YES, that's it! K-o-k-o-m-o". My hubby said that he didn't want to do Koko he wanted the koka. I told him NO because it was perfect because of our boy KoKo. We all agreed that this was his name. Yet I wanted him to still have tiny in his name because the breeder really did like this little boy and he was special to her. So his AKC name is: Inez(after the breeding kennel) Tiny(from the breeder) KoKoMo. What do we call him? MoMo or Mo for short. Funny now that I look back and said what a DUMB name that was!

We were happy with our little man and he is "special". He developed VERY slow. Dr. I. said if he got to 10lbs we would be lucky. I weighed him in Sept. and he was 10.5lbs! He is now a year old! He is VERY tiny for his breed, especially being a male. His obedience future? Well, we will see.

One day, a few months after we had gotten him, my eldest daughter looked down and said, "Mom, MoMo has a heart on his butt, did you ever notice that?" It struck me right then and there this was a sign from KoKo letting us know this was the puppy he had led us to. It was his "sign of approval" so to speak.

KoKo led me to be sick to realize I was being selfish and needed to get a small dog for daddy.
KoKo led us to this breeder who had a special little boy
KoKo let the breeder realize that we were the right family for Tiny Boy
KoKo whispered in his daddy's ear the perfect name for this little boy
KoKo signed Mo with a heart signature!

That heart stayed on MoMo's butt(back) for a few weeks. Now it looks like a bird, you know the kind that you draw that looks like an "m"? So I seem to think it's still KoKo letting us know that indeed we listened and we listened well for him to lead us to our Inez Tiny KoKoMo.

Inez Tiny KoKoMo
Little Man
Tiny Boy
KoKoMo Joe
Mo
MoMo

Sasha Marie

The story of my baby girl, Sasha Marie.

Yes, this is another dog story but I'm ALL about my children, my hubby, and my animals. That's me, that's what makes me whole.

This was my Spike, who I had rescued from the dog pound after he was hit by a car. I only had him a few short monts before he died of some type of stomach cancer. He died in April(seems to be a bad month for us) and of course I HAD to go get another dog.

I knew I wanted a smaller dog with stand up ears. Ideally I wanted a papillion or a pom but my dear hubby REFUSED to get a pom. He says they are ALL psycho. He has never met a nice one so he is a little tainted. If I couldn't find one of them I wanted a doxie. I already have a doxie/chihuahua and I just love him to pieces.

So off we went to find this little dog with stand up ears. We went to all the humane societies around our area and I had looked on petfinder and there just wasn't anything I was looking for. I decided to go AGAINST everything and went to a pet store. YES, YES, YES I know. I was stupid, irresponsible and everything else you can call me. I KNOW this. Yet I wouldn't go back and change my decision. I lied to alot of people at first and then I finally told them. I'm NOT a very good liar.

Well, I went into this one pet store and I saw these pups. I forgot to mention that I HAD to have a little boy. Boy dogs are the bomb! Anyway, I saw this little brown and white puppy laying in the kennel just staring at me. I just HAD to see this little baby in my arms.

I asked for assistance and they went and got the little puppy. They said it was a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. I hadn't really heard of this type of breed but I sure did like the way this puppy looked.

They put this puppy in my arms and I checked to see the sex. Oh darn! It was a little girl. Yet I couldn't seem to give the puppy back. I just had to hold her for a little while. I held her and she was having trouble breathing and I KNEW this puppy was coming home with me.

I told my hubby that I had to have this one. He just looked at me because,

1)It was a GIRL

2)It wasn't a doxie

3)NO stand up ears

He was a little confused. He also said that the puppy was sick and WHY did I have to bring home a sick puppy when I was just going to keep dumping money into her!

I just HAD to have her. So I told the employee I wanted meds for this dog because it was sick. I also told them I wanted a discount on this dog too because I wasn't going to pay all that money for a "defective" dog. So they had to call their big boss and sure as anything I got her discounted AND meds.

They were trying to tell me it was kennel cough and I KNEW better. Took the meds and my new puppy and off we went.

I had already named her before we even left the store. Really? Yep. Here's how that went. I had already been to an animal communication class and I knew I already had a "talent" for reading houses so I thought maybe I could communicate with the animals. Now my one friend SWEARS I can but I still doubt. Yet on this day, I KNOW I communicated with this little girl! She was in my arms and I wanted to put her on the floor to see how she walked and if she could at least hold herself up. I set all four of her feet on the floor and she looked at me and said, "My name is Sasha." That's what clenched her coming home with me. So I guess I can communicate.

So off we went with our new puppy and I had to go to the pet store where my one friend worked and get her a leash and collar.

I walked in and my friend said, "Who do we have here?"

I said, "Her name is Sasha."

My friend says, "You can NOT name this dog Sasha!"

I said, "Yes I can, yes I will, and yes I have!"

Her registered name is Sasha Marie because my middle name is Marie.

I brought this little girl home and we had weeks worth of pneumonia battle! Yep, it wasn't kennel cough after all! She also has arythmia(spelling??) or irregular heartbeat. Cavaliers are known for bad hears. Yet would did I expect? I had done this to myself, right? Buying a puppymill dog.

Yet this girl is now my life. I have another little cavalier and everyone says that it's not fair to him because he has to live up to Sasha and she sets a high standard. I think they are right.

We communicate and we have a VERY strong bond. She makes me laugh, she licks the tears from my face, and we know when each other doesn't feel good. She is just a little doll.

I would never change the fact that I walked into that store and bought this little girl.

She is my Sasha Marie-CGC(tested TDI but we don't visit), U-CD, ASCA-CD She also dabbles in agility and has done ONE trial but mom is too much of a chicken to go again because we flubbed up so bad the first time.

(this video is ALL the pics we ever took of our boy)

This is a VERY hard blog to write tonight, or early morning however you want to look at it. It's now after midnight.

This dog has been on my mind ALOT lately. I miss him more than anything in the world and wish he could still be with us but the saying is true, "the good die young".

I could write about a dozen pages on this dog but that would be way too long of a blog for anyone, yet I fear this blog is going to be mighty long anyway.

I wanted a dog and my hubby wanted a BIG dog. He was looking for like a mastiff type dog or rottie. Something BIG. I wanted to get a dog from the humane society because it's just the right thing to do. So off we went to Tri County Humane Society in St. Cloud, Mn. We looked thru all the cages and alot of the puppies were in quarantine due to a puppy flu that was going around.

We were one of those people who HAD to have a puppy.

Well we came across this cage with some puppies in them. On the form they said it was an unwanted litter(go figure). They said golden retriever/lab cross. Well I told my hubby he needed to pick this dog out because it was going to be HIS dog. He watched all of them lay there and sleep! We finally were able to get a few of the litter up and moving except for one pup who just wasn't going to move at all. Now these pups were not in quarantine they were in the wards where you can adopt. My hubby said he had to have the one who didn't move and get up because he wasn't going to be hyper and that's what he wanted.

So off to the counter we went to let the people know which puppy we wanted to take home! We got to the counter and they told us that the puppy we wanted didn't have a card and they would have to locate it. They said this puppy could actually be on hold. Our hearts just sank. NO, we wanted this puppy and we wanted him NOW!! After about a trillion minutes of waiting for them to locate his cage card they came back and said that this dog we had chosen was a female. Well, we didn't check, we didn't care. We wanted this dog! Luckily the pup was not on hold and we were able to take puppy home.

Puppy had the most beautiful brindle coat. Although most people saw nothing but black in this puppy as it got older. Puppy had to be in the right light to see the true brindle.

Brought puppy home and of course invited over the parents so they could see the new family member. My mother kept telling us that this puppy was definitely a little boy. The thing was, sorry about this but...his wee wee was VERY tiny and it was hard to find. So for the first couple of hours we actually thought we had a little girl! We were WRONG. The funny thing is that thru the rest of his life everyone who saw him would call him a girl. Poor dog.

We named him on the way home. We had named him KoKo. We didn't want to spell it the original cocoa so we came up with that spelling. It's a good thing KoKo is a unisex name. :)

We got him home and he was just that, a LAZY dog. The sad thing was that he did have the puppy flu but the humane society didn't know that. We had about a weeks worth of puppy flu. Everyone said after he got better we would see his true colors. Guess what? NEVER did. He remained a mellow little boy!

We watched him grow and grow. I can't remember what age he was but he was between 3-6mos and he started to limp. He never complained just limped. Took him in and had him x-rayed and it showed he had hip dysplasia in BOTH of his hips. Not only did he have that but he had the "growing pains" that certain breeds get. It's a LONG word and I can't remember what it is(I'm sure Lori will let me know) but the big breeds usually get it because their bones grow so fast. It really is painful but my little boy never complained.

So we have now gone thru the puppy flu(NOT parvo), growing pains, and a long long life of hip dysplasia. He wasn't ever bad enough to where we had to do hip replacements. We just had to watch his weight and he got fish oil every day.

He was neutered at 5mos of age even though EVERYONE who met him wanted a puppy from him. NOPE, no puppies for me!

I put him thru a basic obedience class at a community center and we passed with flying colors. His best was down/stay. He did that VERY well.

At 6mos of age he got his CGC(canine good citizen) award. He was a therapy dog in waiting. Yet they said he was too shy. Ha! What did they know?

My mom is a nurse and when she lived here in Mn. I would take KoKo to visit grandma at work. I could leave him behind the nursing station with someone he didn't even know and walk away and he would still be laying there when I got back! He LOVED it at the nursing homes, parades, football games, school functions, ANYWHERE there was someone willing to pet him.

Boy did he KNOW how to hug you too. Not that he ever put his paws around you or jump on you but he would LEAN on you, to where you almost got knocked down he would push into you so hard. Now THAT'S a hug!

I watched him grow and I just didn't think this dog was a golden/lab cross. He looked too much like a german shep. I wish now I would have taken a pic of him when I would stand his ears up. My vet argued and argued with me about him being part german shep. I also saw greyhound in him. His couch potato attitude and when he ran he was as fast as those greyhounds!

Well when he was 3 yrs old my boy developed panus(this has a really long name too but I will stick with the shorter version). It's an eye disorder that ONLY German Sheps get(or so my vet said). Right then I looked at him and said, "See, what did I tell you? Quit arguing about what my dog is! He just proved you wrong and his momma right!" The vet said he COULD lose his eyesight but he had never seen a dog live long enough to lose their eyesight from this. We just watched it every year to see if it progressed, it never did.

My boy ended up being, at his highest weight 90lbs! That's not so big to some people but for us he was a big dog. Just what my hubby ordered!

I remember doing anything to this dog and he wouldn't cry or whine or say anything. He would bark if someone came to the door and then it was just a few barks and then he would stop. I actually slammed his tail in the door one time and he just looked at me and was trying to get up. I realized what I had done and apologized up and down to him. From then on when I would tell him to go bye-bye he would jump in and tuck his tail so mom could never do that again.

He loved to be touched or brushed. Just to be near you. OOOOOHHHH, and the BEST foot messager anyone could ever ask for! I miss those foot messages!

In 2005 I got my little Sasha Marie(cavalier king charles) and her and KoKo were my everything. My whole world. In 2006 Sasha was going to be a year old and everyone was telling me that she should be a therapy(TDI) dog. I had went this route with KoKo and we failed and I didn't know if we could do it again. Yet I thought that I NEEDED to do this with her. So the day after her 1st birthday she was a certified TDI dog. KoKo and I were very proud of her! I then decided that I needed to try again with KoKo. Something told me that I needed to title this dog. I couldn't title him in obedience because he was a mix but I could definitely give him the title so many people thought he should have. I told him that I would title him before he died. Something just kept nagging me to do this. In 2006 KoKo got another CGC award and was also awarded the TDI title! Oh boy was this the coolest thing or what? I was able to make my promise to him!

In March-April of 2007 I had made some new friends and one of them happened to be a vet tech. At this time we had some parvo puppies in the rescue and her and I were taking care of some of them. Before this though I would pet KoKo under his chin(he loved that) and I noticed a lump. I really didn't think much about it. Then one of my other friends came over and when she was petting him she noticed it on him too. Then I worried. I had been watching it and it did seem to get a little bigger. I asked my new found friend about the lump and she said, "Oh T, how old is this dog? How long has he had this?" I decided I needed to take him to my favorite vet in the whole world but he had been let go from his clinic. I knew how to find him and I made a trip out to his house for him to look at KoKo. He loved KoKo but KoKo was always so scared of him. There was NO reason for it but KoKo just got small when Dr. I. came around. So we are at Dr. I's house and he looked at KoKo's mouth. I had to PRY KoKo's mouth open he had it closed so tight. Dr. I. pressed on the lump and it didn't move an inch. KoKo didn't cry, flinch, or whine. He took it all in stride. Then Dr. I. started talking. Didn't really tell me anything. I finally looked at him and told him to tell me if it was what I was thinking and he said, "Yep, yep, it is." Neither of us could say the "C" word. We knew what we were referring to. I said, "How long?" He said, "Six months to a year. This type takes 'em fast."

My KoKo, my precious little boy had bone cancer! It started in his jaw. I asked Dr. I. how I would know when it was time because I was NOT going to let this magnificent boy suffer. He said when he refused to eat is when I would know.

I went home and it took me a few days to tell my family that our precious little boy only had 6mos to a year to live. Why? Why? Why?

The first thing we started to notice was that his face was drooping. His muscles were wasting away in his head and face. Then the tumor broke thru under his tongue and he developed a "sore" and it started to make him smell. It was rotting flesh. Dr. I. put him on some med to help with the smell and to try to keep the rotting at a minimal. Then we noticed him losing weight. His back end was getting weaker too.

We did try some healing touch with him but I felt that I could do the same thing with him in my house so he had ALOT of messages and healing touch in his last weeks.

One day I had let him out and went to let him back in and he was on the deck spinning in circles. pooping on himself. I FREAKED OUT! My KoKo NEVER did this. I thought he was having a seizure but it wasn't like a seizure because he was so totally aware of me. I called my best friend and told her that I NEEDED HER NOW! She flew to my house. While waiting for her I called Dr. I. and spoke to him on the phone personally(which NEVER happens when he is at the clinic) and he told me to bring him in. He looked at KoKo and told me that he had had a mini stroke. He said he would recover pretty quickly. He did. Yet he became weaker than he already was. I was crying so hard and was so distraught. Dr. I., I think, knew it was getting closer to the end and he gave me a hug and I never saw that bill. I will NEVER EVER be able to thank him enough for that. He told me that he couldn't tell me if it was the cancer that had traveled to his brain that caused it. He said one would never know.

I KNEW KoKo had another mini stroke sometime after that but I couldn't tell you when that was now. It was only a few weeks and my KoKo stopped eating. I tried people food, I tried canned food, I tried ice cream. ANYTHING. He would sniff and turn his head away. He tried but his body didn't want it. I knew the decision had to be made. I didn't want to make that decision. I usually am the one who makes the decision and I wasn't going to be the sole decision maker on this one. I called my mother who called KoKo, "The old man". He was an old soul that's why she called him that. He was her favorite dog! She even has a dog named KoCo now! Anyway, I called her and told her what KoKo was doing and that I had a dilemma on my hands. KoKo's birthday was less than a week away and mine was one day after his and could I make a decision like this at this time. She simply said, "It would be the best birthday gift anyone could ever give him." So, I talked with the family and we decided that he would cross the rainbow bridge the day before his birthday. I called Dr. I. and asked him if he would help KoKo cross over at home and he said he would.

The day came and my best friends came to say goodbye. The whole family was there. KoKo never said a word. He was SO weak that I don't think he could. Dr. I. let everyone say their goodbyes and then he helped this magnificent dog cross over. I cried like I have never cried before and I went to pick him up to help him to the truck and I just lost it. I couldn't. Dr. I. tried to give me a hug and I was so blinded by the tears that I didn't even realize what he was doing and blew him off. I feel AWFUL but I didn't mean to it was just that I couldn't see and I couldn't believe we had to say goodbye! Luckily my friends were there to help carry KoKo out to the truck.

One of my dear friends works at the vet clinic Dr. I. works at and she said Dr. I. came back from my house and brought KoKo into the clinic and she said you could tell he was shook up. He didn't even speak. That means alot to me. More than anyone knows. It shows he really does love his patients!

KoKo survived 7mos with that bone cancer. One day just shy of his 8th birthday!

So why did I write this LONG blog? Sorry but KoKo's story is NOT a short one. I wrote this blog because KoKo came to me the other night. His back end was wobbly but he stood on all fours and reached out with his left paw and grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into him and gave me the biggest hug and said, "It's ok. It's time, and I'm ready." I woke up crying and haven't been able to stop thinking about him since. I do believe this magnificent boy came to me in that dream to tell me that he is ok with the family's decision. It's OK. He came to my hubby four times in the first 2wks of his death. He only came to me 2x and it was briefly. I felt that he was mad at me and therefore didn't want to come and talk with me. This dream that I had last week was finally the closure I needed from him. He is such a magnificent boy that he knew his momma needed this and finally was able to give me that even in death.

My friend Lori told me that if you didn't know KoKo you would never know that he was sick just to look at him. She said that he looked good when she saw him and that was towards the end. That made me feel good too. She also tells me that I have a way to commuicate with the animals and KoKo has shown me that in this dream.

Again, sorry this story was so long but it had to be told. KoKo can NEVER be forgotten and never will be.

RIP my HERO!

My camping days are over

This was when I think I was finally done with camping. Didn't want to have anything else to do with it, EVER. Of course, I was so small that I had to go if my parents DRUG me but I sure didn't go without throwing a tantrum. Actually, to be quite honest, I don't remember going camping ever after this.

We lived in Tx. This I do remember because I was under 7yrs old and I was with my Aunt Nonnie. She use to come visit us alot when we lived in Tx. She was a cool Aunt and I think we had a little bit of a connection. She was VERY "talented" in the ESP world. She had great "powers". Very strong woman.

I remember we had one of those 70 style beetle buses? Remember those things? Ours was red. I know my mom has a picture of it and I can see it so vividly.

Anyway we went camping with this one year.

I remember we were in a tent and I had the tent with my Aunt Nonnie. Now I don't remember if we were all sleeping in the same tent or not but I don't think we were.

Again I was trying to go to sleep and I just couldn't.

I remember lying there and the sleeping bag getting very very tight around me. I remember pulling the covers over my head and telling myself that it wasn't real and it must go away. yet for some reason this wouldn't.

The weird thing about this it was my Aunt Nonnie. She was trying to suffocate me in this sleeping bag. I was screaming and I was kicking and I was trying so hard to get out of this bag. It was zippped up ALL the way at this point. I was thinking why can't anyone hear me? I tell you when you are out in the wilderness the sound stops! I don't think you can hear a tree fall! If you can't hear a kid screaming?

That's all I remember. I wasn't hurt. I wasn't trapped. My Aunt Nonnie was sleeping. She wasn't there to hurt me.

yet this was real, real as anything. I don't think I have ever told my mom this story BUT I think this was the same camping trip to where we woke up in water!

Camping is NOT for this girl.

Raggedy Ann and Andy

This actually looks JUST like the ones I use to have.

My mom use to make the 3ft. tall Raggedy Ann and Andy's. They were actually pretty cool. She decided to make me a pair for one of my birthdays. I don't remember which one but I remember they were about as tall as I was so I'm sure I was quite young.

I even remember helping my mom make some for other people as I got older.

I had these dolls for years. I was, I believe, in the double digits when this thing happened to me.

I can't remember if I was living in Tx. or Ms. Heck it could have been Maine or Guam for all I remember.

You know those Raggedy Ann and Andy books they use to have? Raggedy Ann and Andy would come alive once the children were away? Remember those? Well I had a BUNCH of those books. I LOVED those books. I would sit and line up all my dolls and stuffed animals and read to them. I love to read. My mom has pictures of me doing this because she thought it was so cute. My youngest has done that before and it was so neat to watch her do this remembering me doing the same thing.

I use to think about when I was asleep at night about what the dolls would do while I was asleep. It was those books making me think this. I remember lying there some nighs and actually seeing my dolls move. It was really creepy. Again, my mom thinks I was doing this.

Well, I finally got to the point it was really starting to freak me out because they were FAKE they CAN'T move and talk. Even though I was young I knew that those books were fiction. Yet it was freaking me out so much I put Raggedy Ann and Andy in my closet! If they were the ones causing my dolls to wake up they had to be stopped so into the closet they went.

I had a friend over one day and she said that we had to play this game of who could stay in the closet the longest. She said it would be fun. So, sure, gullible me says that ya we could play.
So into the closet I went. Raggedy Ann and Andy were there. Raggedy Ann was looking at me. It was dark, it was scary and I KNEW this doll was alive. She was mad at me. She reached her arm out to me. I started freaking out, I wanted out of this closet yet I had to be brave and last in there. Then Raggedy Ann jumped at me and onto me. I FREAKED out. I flew out of the closet. I don't remember anything after that. NOTHING. I don't know how long I was in the closet. I don't even remember where my friend was or went. I just knew that Raggedy Ann was mad at me and she was after me.

I MADE my mother get rid of Raggedy Ann and Andy. Could not have anything of them. I got rid of the books, the dolls, and everything associated with them. They scared the hell out of me.

To this day I will not have them in my house. My mother found some Raggedy Ann and Andy pictures and wanted me to give them to the girls. I put them in the scary cabin! I wouldn't have them in the house. My mother thinks I'm just silly but she knows my fears are true.

How silly to be scared of Raggedy Ann and Andy.

My advice to you, don't let your empath child read those books!!!

Camper

Again, this is NOT our camper that we use to have BUT I do know mom has a pic of that somewhere but she lives in Illinois and I'm not going to be going there for about 2mos so this will have to do.

Our truck we had for the camper was green, if I remember correctly. I don't remember if the camper on the back matched or not.

I don't even remember how old I was or where we lived. I do remember that we went camping and we woke up to nothing but snow ALL around us. I think mom said this was the first time I had ever seen snow so it was very exciting.

The scary thing? I didn't sleep well at all!

My mom thinks I am able to move things with my mind too although I have yet to be able to do that in my ADULT life. I do honestly think that as a child I was able to do this. It would explain this story? Maybe? The next story too, "Raggedy Ann and Andy".

Like I said we were in this camper and we were trying to sleep. Well mom and dad were sleeping just fine up in their top bunk while I was down below.

I had this toy train that was made of plastic. It had the rubber horn that you pushed to make it choo-choo. You had to push the train to make it go, no battery toys at this age. :)

I was trying to sleep that night and this train kept choo-chooing. I kept thinking to myself why mom and dad couldn't HEAR this thing? Why wouldn't mom wake up? Did I even bring this train? I don't remember having it with us. I knew it was in a compartment because that's where the sound was coming from. When you pushed it it would make the clickety-clack noise as well. The scary thing is it decided to come OUT of it's compartment. It was getting closer and closer to me. I was scared out of my mind! My mother wasn't waking up at all.

That's all I remember. I don't know how I finally fell asleep. I use to pull the covers over my head and say fast and furious, "It's not real, make it go away." over and over again. I must have done this to make it stop.

The scary thing? That train wasn't with us! My mother says that I have moved things and brought things to me before. She said I use to be able to look at a present and tell her what was in them. She knew I had not unwrapped them or anything. She said I would lay my hands on the package and she would ask me what was in them and I would tell her. She was always so amazed by this. The other scary thing? That train had been one of my Christmas presents!

Needless to say I HATE camping to this day. I have another story about camping and I will tell that one later but I refuse to camp now. I can't imagine why?

I also recall getting stung by bees on the bottom of my foot in that camper! I still have the scar to prove it.

Camping, no thanks!

Possession

This is another story of me when I was a little girl and this was a very traumatic event for my mother.

Again, I don't remember this but my mother has told me the story many times. The funny thing is she use to tell the story but in a different way. She said it was too hard for me to know the truth about this story so she just left a certain spot. She didn't tell me until I was an adult the whole truth of this story.

I was probably about 5-6yrs old if memory serves me right. We lived in Tx. at the time. I THINK she said we lived in the trailer park but I'm not for certain on that part.

She said it was a normal day but I had woke up and I asked her if we could play a game that day. She asked what game would I like to play. I told her that I wanted to be the mommy for the day and her be the kid. She said that sounded like a fun game. So for that day we did just that, played role reversal.

She use to sew all my clothes. She is a VERY good seamstress. The picture of me on the blog is a dress she made. She does AWESOME work. Well she had a room just for sewing. When she would sit at the sewing machine to the left of her was the closet with mirror for doors, you remember those kind?

Well she said she was sitting there sewing and she wasn't sure what I was doing but I had come up to her and asked her if she would like a back rub. I have always given very good backrubs. She said that would be so nice of me to do that for her. So I put my hands on her shoulders and I started to give her a back rub. She said at first they were my hands and then they started to change. She said the hands were getting bigger and bigger and they weren't a little girls hands anymore. She said she became a bit nervous so she MADE herself look to the left into the mirrors to see who was rubbing her back. There stood her mother. Long brown hair, short, and petite. She just dropped her sewing and yelled, "Terri!Stop it!" She then whirled around and there I was standing there looking at her like she was crazy or something. She said she grabbed me and told me to get out of the room. She said we didn't go back in there for the rest of the day. She said I had told her afterwards that I was done playing mother/daughter reversal game.

The thing is my maternal grandmother died when my mother was 2yrs old. She died of uterine cancer. She had a very rough life but she has visited many many people since her death and she continues to do so.

My mother doesn't remember her mother but she does know what she looks like because of pictures. She says she knows there is a close connection to her mother though.

So, what happened? Well my Grandma Ruby took me and possessed me. I have been told I look like her. I look like my mother and my mother looks like Ruby so I guess in a way that's true. I'm just not short and petite like her and my mother. She decided she wanted to connect with my mother that day and she went thru me to do it. It was me who started the backrub but then my grandmother stepped in and finished the backrub.

I don't tell too many people that story because it really freaks them out. I don't think I have ever had that happen again but it is pretty freaky, even for me. That is the part my mother didn't tell me till I was an adult. She didn't think I would be able to handle that until I was an adult. She says it still gives her goosebumps to think about it.

That's my possession story. If you have one I would love to hear from you.

The Cabin

This is NOT the cabin we have. I'm sure I have a cabin picture somewhere but I'm too lazy to get up and find it and then I would have to figure out how to work the scanner again and because it's a 3 in one printer the scanner is all messed up anyway. It's time for a new one but I'm too lazy to get up and go look for one at the stores, I hate dealing with electronic employees. :)

Enough of that though!

We have this cabin, or so I call it in our yard. We have a pretty big yard and on this property is our house, garage, cabin, and a shed(or lack of a better term). It's actually quite cool the cabin AND the shed. The shed has attached to it a snowmobile shed but we don't use it because we have no snowmobile. I know, I know it's sad that we live in Minnesota and don't own a snowmobile! Geesh, how could we? Anyway, in this shed is a toilet even. It must have been an outhouse at one time? Who really knows. We joke about it all the time and have NEVER used it. Anyway, back to the cabin.

I call it a cabin but it could have just been a one room home at one time. Our house was built in the 70's and I know this cabin is older than that. It has a place where you can have a wooden stove and everything. You could hook up electricity to it also. It had one light, one medicine cabinet. It's pretty cool.

We used it for a "play house" for the girls. It was really cool at one point. The girls would play in it every now and then but they really didn't like it all that much. I was scared of it because I think an old man lives in it. Well, my youngest thinks there is an old man spirit in there also but she never really said anything about it.

I have envisioned this skinny old man who is just meaner than snot. EVERY time I would go into this cabin I would get hurt, in some way. Never failed. Even the girls, come to think of it, were getting hurt in there too. No matter who walks in there you get hurt. :( I don't think the old man really likes visitors.

I envisioned him on this lake and he used it as a fish house. NOT that he could do this but I do feel that the cabin has been moved from a lakeshore property to here at some point. I just don't know when.

Anyway, the reason why I'm writing about the cabin today is because we are doing some remodeling to it. If you want to call it that.

We are not very good keeper uppers. We let things go. Why? Well, I guess it's because I'm lazy and my hubby has too many ailments to prevent him from doing alot of things. Well he CAN do them but it takes alot of encouraging to get him to do them. He has RA and it can be very debilating.

Anyway, I get away from the story again. Darn, I hate when I do that!

We have to gut the cabin because the attic door had come open and so rain and snow and just the outside elements were getting into the attic. I had told someone to close this I don't know how many times but noone would so the roof, the ceiling and the walls are just gross. The roof needs repair. The ceiling was collapsing so we have to rip it down and the walls are mildewed. So they must come down. We were thinking about tearing the whole thing down but once the ceiling came down we found out that the frame of the cabin is still in really really good shape.

So anyway, we have been cleaning the cabin up this weekend. My hubby tore down the ceiling yesterday and gee he got HURT. I'm telling you this old man doesn't like people in HIS cabin!
In the ceiling was a bag of white dust but it weighs like 100lbs and it fell right onto my hubby's hand. Surprised it didn't break a finger or two! We were joking that it was a remains of someone because it's in an unlabeled brown paper sack. :)~

So, he tore down the ceiling and up in the ceiling are lots of wood parts. Don't know what they go to and will probably never know. So we were picking up the parts of the ceiling and putting them in the trashbags so we can eventually take all of this to the dump and I found this hymn book. It had the name C.L.(I'm leaving these initials for fear that the relatives might found this post and want secrecy). It has the full name on the hymn book but the date below the name is 1937! WOW, what a find. The funny thing is that this book is in really good shape. Even for all the mildew and such in the ceiling it has very little water damage at all. I told my hubby that I was going to keep this because I do believe he is the "old man"!

So I take this hymn book and I bring it into the house. A few minutes later my hubby is looking out the sliding glass door towards the cabin and he says, "Yep, he's pissed. He just walked by the sliding glass door on the deck!" Well, I immediately told this man that I was putting his hymn book back outside. I did.

We believe he is pissed as heck now because we are gutting out his home and we have his hymn book! He is not at all happy about this.

My daughter told us that she KNEW there was a man spirit in that play cabin forever but noone would believe her about this. She said now we have proof! She went on the internet last night to try and find something about him but she couldn't unless you pay for stuff. She said that he, if he is still alive, is about 80 something years old. She found the relatives of him which were the people who we bought this house from! It's truly amazing.

So, Mr. L. please don't be too mad at us about gutting out the cabin but we must do this to make it better!

The "others".

A Father's Love

This is a story my mother has told me since I was old enough to understand about paranormal things. Once I started telling my mother things that I saw or heard and totally understood them she was able to tell me stories from her own experiences and stories she had heard from our family. Like I said we have had a long line of people with "the gift".

This was before my dad was even in my mother's life. Her best friend at the time wanted her to house sit so my mom was all up for it. I don't think she ever told me exactly what state this was in but it does involve snow.

She was housesitting for her friend and was up in the bedroom trying to get some shut eye and she heard this car door. She looked out the window and saw a car in the driveway and a man getting out of the car with a red coat on. He was walking toward the door. My mom proceeded to the door and once she opened it there was NOONE there and no car BUT there were footprints in the snow leading up to the door. Yet noone was there. My mom was thinking she was going nuts and shut the door. You always doubt when things like this happen to you. She then was going to try to go back to bed but once again this car with the man in the red coat was outside in the driveway again. Once again my mother opened the door and the only thing there were those footprints. She was really started to get scared at this point because what the heck was going on! She was home alone and this car with the red coat man kept coming to this house but once opening the door the car and him were gone! This happened a total of three times in a row. My mom was pretty freaked out but she had to stay in this house because she had told her friend she would housesit.

The next morning some police officers showed up at the front door, the non disappearing kind. They asked my mom if she was so and so. They were looking for her best friend. My mom told them no she was housesitting for her but what did they want. They proceeded to tell my mother they needed to know her whereabouts because her father had died the night before and they needed to let her know. My mother asked them to please describe the man and tell her what he was wearing and driving. He was driving the car that was in the driveway with a, yep you guessed it, red coat! My mother was floored.

This man loved his daughter so much he was trying to get hold of her himself and let her know he was gone and to probably say his final good-bye. Yet every time my mother would open the door he would be gone knowing it wasn't his daughter. He tried 3 times to do this each time to discover his daughter wasn't home.

Now that's what I call fatherly love!