Sasha Marie

The story of my baby girl, Sasha Marie.

Yes, this is another dog story but I'm ALL about my children, my hubby, and my animals. That's me, that's what makes me whole.

This was my Spike, who I had rescued from the dog pound after he was hit by a car. I only had him a few short monts before he died of some type of stomach cancer. He died in April(seems to be a bad month for us) and of course I HAD to go get another dog.

I knew I wanted a smaller dog with stand up ears. Ideally I wanted a papillion or a pom but my dear hubby REFUSED to get a pom. He says they are ALL psycho. He has never met a nice one so he is a little tainted. If I couldn't find one of them I wanted a doxie. I already have a doxie/chihuahua and I just love him to pieces.

So off we went to find this little dog with stand up ears. We went to all the humane societies around our area and I had looked on petfinder and there just wasn't anything I was looking for. I decided to go AGAINST everything and went to a pet store. YES, YES, YES I know. I was stupid, irresponsible and everything else you can call me. I KNOW this. Yet I wouldn't go back and change my decision. I lied to alot of people at first and then I finally told them. I'm NOT a very good liar.

Well, I went into this one pet store and I saw these pups. I forgot to mention that I HAD to have a little boy. Boy dogs are the bomb! Anyway, I saw this little brown and white puppy laying in the kennel just staring at me. I just HAD to see this little baby in my arms.

I asked for assistance and they went and got the little puppy. They said it was a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. I hadn't really heard of this type of breed but I sure did like the way this puppy looked.

They put this puppy in my arms and I checked to see the sex. Oh darn! It was a little girl. Yet I couldn't seem to give the puppy back. I just had to hold her for a little while. I held her and she was having trouble breathing and I KNEW this puppy was coming home with me.

I told my hubby that I had to have this one. He just looked at me because,

1)It was a GIRL

2)It wasn't a doxie

3)NO stand up ears

He was a little confused. He also said that the puppy was sick and WHY did I have to bring home a sick puppy when I was just going to keep dumping money into her!

I just HAD to have her. So I told the employee I wanted meds for this dog because it was sick. I also told them I wanted a discount on this dog too because I wasn't going to pay all that money for a "defective" dog. So they had to call their big boss and sure as anything I got her discounted AND meds.

They were trying to tell me it was kennel cough and I KNEW better. Took the meds and my new puppy and off we went.

I had already named her before we even left the store. Really? Yep. Here's how that went. I had already been to an animal communication class and I knew I already had a "talent" for reading houses so I thought maybe I could communicate with the animals. Now my one friend SWEARS I can but I still doubt. Yet on this day, I KNOW I communicated with this little girl! She was in my arms and I wanted to put her on the floor to see how she walked and if she could at least hold herself up. I set all four of her feet on the floor and she looked at me and said, "My name is Sasha." That's what clenched her coming home with me. So I guess I can communicate.

So off we went with our new puppy and I had to go to the pet store where my one friend worked and get her a leash and collar.

I walked in and my friend said, "Who do we have here?"

I said, "Her name is Sasha."

My friend says, "You can NOT name this dog Sasha!"

I said, "Yes I can, yes I will, and yes I have!"

Her registered name is Sasha Marie because my middle name is Marie.

I brought this little girl home and we had weeks worth of pneumonia battle! Yep, it wasn't kennel cough after all! She also has arythmia(spelling??) or irregular heartbeat. Cavaliers are known for bad hears. Yet would did I expect? I had done this to myself, right? Buying a puppymill dog.

Yet this girl is now my life. I have another little cavalier and everyone says that it's not fair to him because he has to live up to Sasha and she sets a high standard. I think they are right.

We communicate and we have a VERY strong bond. She makes me laugh, she licks the tears from my face, and we know when each other doesn't feel good. She is just a little doll.

I would never change the fact that I walked into that store and bought this little girl.

She is my Sasha Marie-CGC(tested TDI but we don't visit), U-CD, ASCA-CD She also dabbles in agility and has done ONE trial but mom is too much of a chicken to go again because we flubbed up so bad the first time.

(this video is ALL the pics we ever took of our boy)

This is a VERY hard blog to write tonight, or early morning however you want to look at it. It's now after midnight.

This dog has been on my mind ALOT lately. I miss him more than anything in the world and wish he could still be with us but the saying is true, "the good die young".

I could write about a dozen pages on this dog but that would be way too long of a blog for anyone, yet I fear this blog is going to be mighty long anyway.

I wanted a dog and my hubby wanted a BIG dog. He was looking for like a mastiff type dog or rottie. Something BIG. I wanted to get a dog from the humane society because it's just the right thing to do. So off we went to Tri County Humane Society in St. Cloud, Mn. We looked thru all the cages and alot of the puppies were in quarantine due to a puppy flu that was going around.

We were one of those people who HAD to have a puppy.

Well we came across this cage with some puppies in them. On the form they said it was an unwanted litter(go figure). They said golden retriever/lab cross. Well I told my hubby he needed to pick this dog out because it was going to be HIS dog. He watched all of them lay there and sleep! We finally were able to get a few of the litter up and moving except for one pup who just wasn't going to move at all. Now these pups were not in quarantine they were in the wards where you can adopt. My hubby said he had to have the one who didn't move and get up because he wasn't going to be hyper and that's what he wanted.

So off to the counter we went to let the people know which puppy we wanted to take home! We got to the counter and they told us that the puppy we wanted didn't have a card and they would have to locate it. They said this puppy could actually be on hold. Our hearts just sank. NO, we wanted this puppy and we wanted him NOW!! After about a trillion minutes of waiting for them to locate his cage card they came back and said that this dog we had chosen was a female. Well, we didn't check, we didn't care. We wanted this dog! Luckily the pup was not on hold and we were able to take puppy home.

Puppy had the most beautiful brindle coat. Although most people saw nothing but black in this puppy as it got older. Puppy had to be in the right light to see the true brindle.

Brought puppy home and of course invited over the parents so they could see the new family member. My mother kept telling us that this puppy was definitely a little boy. The thing was, sorry about this but...his wee wee was VERY tiny and it was hard to find. So for the first couple of hours we actually thought we had a little girl! We were WRONG. The funny thing is that thru the rest of his life everyone who saw him would call him a girl. Poor dog.

We named him on the way home. We had named him KoKo. We didn't want to spell it the original cocoa so we came up with that spelling. It's a good thing KoKo is a unisex name. :)

We got him home and he was just that, a LAZY dog. The sad thing was that he did have the puppy flu but the humane society didn't know that. We had about a weeks worth of puppy flu. Everyone said after he got better we would see his true colors. Guess what? NEVER did. He remained a mellow little boy!

We watched him grow and grow. I can't remember what age he was but he was between 3-6mos and he started to limp. He never complained just limped. Took him in and had him x-rayed and it showed he had hip dysplasia in BOTH of his hips. Not only did he have that but he had the "growing pains" that certain breeds get. It's a LONG word and I can't remember what it is(I'm sure Lori will let me know) but the big breeds usually get it because their bones grow so fast. It really is painful but my little boy never complained.

So we have now gone thru the puppy flu(NOT parvo), growing pains, and a long long life of hip dysplasia. He wasn't ever bad enough to where we had to do hip replacements. We just had to watch his weight and he got fish oil every day.

He was neutered at 5mos of age even though EVERYONE who met him wanted a puppy from him. NOPE, no puppies for me!

I put him thru a basic obedience class at a community center and we passed with flying colors. His best was down/stay. He did that VERY well.

At 6mos of age he got his CGC(canine good citizen) award. He was a therapy dog in waiting. Yet they said he was too shy. Ha! What did they know?

My mom is a nurse and when she lived here in Mn. I would take KoKo to visit grandma at work. I could leave him behind the nursing station with someone he didn't even know and walk away and he would still be laying there when I got back! He LOVED it at the nursing homes, parades, football games, school functions, ANYWHERE there was someone willing to pet him.

Boy did he KNOW how to hug you too. Not that he ever put his paws around you or jump on you but he would LEAN on you, to where you almost got knocked down he would push into you so hard. Now THAT'S a hug!

I watched him grow and I just didn't think this dog was a golden/lab cross. He looked too much like a german shep. I wish now I would have taken a pic of him when I would stand his ears up. My vet argued and argued with me about him being part german shep. I also saw greyhound in him. His couch potato attitude and when he ran he was as fast as those greyhounds!

Well when he was 3 yrs old my boy developed panus(this has a really long name too but I will stick with the shorter version). It's an eye disorder that ONLY German Sheps get(or so my vet said). Right then I looked at him and said, "See, what did I tell you? Quit arguing about what my dog is! He just proved you wrong and his momma right!" The vet said he COULD lose his eyesight but he had never seen a dog live long enough to lose their eyesight from this. We just watched it every year to see if it progressed, it never did.

My boy ended up being, at his highest weight 90lbs! That's not so big to some people but for us he was a big dog. Just what my hubby ordered!

I remember doing anything to this dog and he wouldn't cry or whine or say anything. He would bark if someone came to the door and then it was just a few barks and then he would stop. I actually slammed his tail in the door one time and he just looked at me and was trying to get up. I realized what I had done and apologized up and down to him. From then on when I would tell him to go bye-bye he would jump in and tuck his tail so mom could never do that again.

He loved to be touched or brushed. Just to be near you. OOOOOHHHH, and the BEST foot messager anyone could ever ask for! I miss those foot messages!

In 2005 I got my little Sasha Marie(cavalier king charles) and her and KoKo were my everything. My whole world. In 2006 Sasha was going to be a year old and everyone was telling me that she should be a therapy(TDI) dog. I had went this route with KoKo and we failed and I didn't know if we could do it again. Yet I thought that I NEEDED to do this with her. So the day after her 1st birthday she was a certified TDI dog. KoKo and I were very proud of her! I then decided that I needed to try again with KoKo. Something told me that I needed to title this dog. I couldn't title him in obedience because he was a mix but I could definitely give him the title so many people thought he should have. I told him that I would title him before he died. Something just kept nagging me to do this. In 2006 KoKo got another CGC award and was also awarded the TDI title! Oh boy was this the coolest thing or what? I was able to make my promise to him!

In March-April of 2007 I had made some new friends and one of them happened to be a vet tech. At this time we had some parvo puppies in the rescue and her and I were taking care of some of them. Before this though I would pet KoKo under his chin(he loved that) and I noticed a lump. I really didn't think much about it. Then one of my other friends came over and when she was petting him she noticed it on him too. Then I worried. I had been watching it and it did seem to get a little bigger. I asked my new found friend about the lump and she said, "Oh T, how old is this dog? How long has he had this?" I decided I needed to take him to my favorite vet in the whole world but he had been let go from his clinic. I knew how to find him and I made a trip out to his house for him to look at KoKo. He loved KoKo but KoKo was always so scared of him. There was NO reason for it but KoKo just got small when Dr. I. came around. So we are at Dr. I's house and he looked at KoKo's mouth. I had to PRY KoKo's mouth open he had it closed so tight. Dr. I. pressed on the lump and it didn't move an inch. KoKo didn't cry, flinch, or whine. He took it all in stride. Then Dr. I. started talking. Didn't really tell me anything. I finally looked at him and told him to tell me if it was what I was thinking and he said, "Yep, yep, it is." Neither of us could say the "C" word. We knew what we were referring to. I said, "How long?" He said, "Six months to a year. This type takes 'em fast."

My KoKo, my precious little boy had bone cancer! It started in his jaw. I asked Dr. I. how I would know when it was time because I was NOT going to let this magnificent boy suffer. He said when he refused to eat is when I would know.

I went home and it took me a few days to tell my family that our precious little boy only had 6mos to a year to live. Why? Why? Why?

The first thing we started to notice was that his face was drooping. His muscles were wasting away in his head and face. Then the tumor broke thru under his tongue and he developed a "sore" and it started to make him smell. It was rotting flesh. Dr. I. put him on some med to help with the smell and to try to keep the rotting at a minimal. Then we noticed him losing weight. His back end was getting weaker too.

We did try some healing touch with him but I felt that I could do the same thing with him in my house so he had ALOT of messages and healing touch in his last weeks.

One day I had let him out and went to let him back in and he was on the deck spinning in circles. pooping on himself. I FREAKED OUT! My KoKo NEVER did this. I thought he was having a seizure but it wasn't like a seizure because he was so totally aware of me. I called my best friend and told her that I NEEDED HER NOW! She flew to my house. While waiting for her I called Dr. I. and spoke to him on the phone personally(which NEVER happens when he is at the clinic) and he told me to bring him in. He looked at KoKo and told me that he had had a mini stroke. He said he would recover pretty quickly. He did. Yet he became weaker than he already was. I was crying so hard and was so distraught. Dr. I., I think, knew it was getting closer to the end and he gave me a hug and I never saw that bill. I will NEVER EVER be able to thank him enough for that. He told me that he couldn't tell me if it was the cancer that had traveled to his brain that caused it. He said one would never know.

I KNEW KoKo had another mini stroke sometime after that but I couldn't tell you when that was now. It was only a few weeks and my KoKo stopped eating. I tried people food, I tried canned food, I tried ice cream. ANYTHING. He would sniff and turn his head away. He tried but his body didn't want it. I knew the decision had to be made. I didn't want to make that decision. I usually am the one who makes the decision and I wasn't going to be the sole decision maker on this one. I called my mother who called KoKo, "The old man". He was an old soul that's why she called him that. He was her favorite dog! She even has a dog named KoCo now! Anyway, I called her and told her what KoKo was doing and that I had a dilemma on my hands. KoKo's birthday was less than a week away and mine was one day after his and could I make a decision like this at this time. She simply said, "It would be the best birthday gift anyone could ever give him." So, I talked with the family and we decided that he would cross the rainbow bridge the day before his birthday. I called Dr. I. and asked him if he would help KoKo cross over at home and he said he would.

The day came and my best friends came to say goodbye. The whole family was there. KoKo never said a word. He was SO weak that I don't think he could. Dr. I. let everyone say their goodbyes and then he helped this magnificent dog cross over. I cried like I have never cried before and I went to pick him up to help him to the truck and I just lost it. I couldn't. Dr. I. tried to give me a hug and I was so blinded by the tears that I didn't even realize what he was doing and blew him off. I feel AWFUL but I didn't mean to it was just that I couldn't see and I couldn't believe we had to say goodbye! Luckily my friends were there to help carry KoKo out to the truck.

One of my dear friends works at the vet clinic Dr. I. works at and she said Dr. I. came back from my house and brought KoKo into the clinic and she said you could tell he was shook up. He didn't even speak. That means alot to me. More than anyone knows. It shows he really does love his patients!

KoKo survived 7mos with that bone cancer. One day just shy of his 8th birthday!

So why did I write this LONG blog? Sorry but KoKo's story is NOT a short one. I wrote this blog because KoKo came to me the other night. His back end was wobbly but he stood on all fours and reached out with his left paw and grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into him and gave me the biggest hug and said, "It's ok. It's time, and I'm ready." I woke up crying and haven't been able to stop thinking about him since. I do believe this magnificent boy came to me in that dream to tell me that he is ok with the family's decision. It's OK. He came to my hubby four times in the first 2wks of his death. He only came to me 2x and it was briefly. I felt that he was mad at me and therefore didn't want to come and talk with me. This dream that I had last week was finally the closure I needed from him. He is such a magnificent boy that he knew his momma needed this and finally was able to give me that even in death.

My friend Lori told me that if you didn't know KoKo you would never know that he was sick just to look at him. She said that he looked good when she saw him and that was towards the end. That made me feel good too. She also tells me that I have a way to commuicate with the animals and KoKo has shown me that in this dream.

Again, sorry this story was so long but it had to be told. KoKo can NEVER be forgotten and never will be.

RIP my HERO!

My camping days are over

This was when I think I was finally done with camping. Didn't want to have anything else to do with it, EVER. Of course, I was so small that I had to go if my parents DRUG me but I sure didn't go without throwing a tantrum. Actually, to be quite honest, I don't remember going camping ever after this.

We lived in Tx. This I do remember because I was under 7yrs old and I was with my Aunt Nonnie. She use to come visit us alot when we lived in Tx. She was a cool Aunt and I think we had a little bit of a connection. She was VERY "talented" in the ESP world. She had great "powers". Very strong woman.

I remember we had one of those 70 style beetle buses? Remember those things? Ours was red. I know my mom has a picture of it and I can see it so vividly.

Anyway we went camping with this one year.

I remember we were in a tent and I had the tent with my Aunt Nonnie. Now I don't remember if we were all sleeping in the same tent or not but I don't think we were.

Again I was trying to go to sleep and I just couldn't.

I remember lying there and the sleeping bag getting very very tight around me. I remember pulling the covers over my head and telling myself that it wasn't real and it must go away. yet for some reason this wouldn't.

The weird thing about this it was my Aunt Nonnie. She was trying to suffocate me in this sleeping bag. I was screaming and I was kicking and I was trying so hard to get out of this bag. It was zippped up ALL the way at this point. I was thinking why can't anyone hear me? I tell you when you are out in the wilderness the sound stops! I don't think you can hear a tree fall! If you can't hear a kid screaming?

That's all I remember. I wasn't hurt. I wasn't trapped. My Aunt Nonnie was sleeping. She wasn't there to hurt me.

yet this was real, real as anything. I don't think I have ever told my mom this story BUT I think this was the same camping trip to where we woke up in water!

Camping is NOT for this girl.

Raggedy Ann and Andy

This actually looks JUST like the ones I use to have.

My mom use to make the 3ft. tall Raggedy Ann and Andy's. They were actually pretty cool. She decided to make me a pair for one of my birthdays. I don't remember which one but I remember they were about as tall as I was so I'm sure I was quite young.

I even remember helping my mom make some for other people as I got older.

I had these dolls for years. I was, I believe, in the double digits when this thing happened to me.

I can't remember if I was living in Tx. or Ms. Heck it could have been Maine or Guam for all I remember.

You know those Raggedy Ann and Andy books they use to have? Raggedy Ann and Andy would come alive once the children were away? Remember those? Well I had a BUNCH of those books. I LOVED those books. I would sit and line up all my dolls and stuffed animals and read to them. I love to read. My mom has pictures of me doing this because she thought it was so cute. My youngest has done that before and it was so neat to watch her do this remembering me doing the same thing.

I use to think about when I was asleep at night about what the dolls would do while I was asleep. It was those books making me think this. I remember lying there some nighs and actually seeing my dolls move. It was really creepy. Again, my mom thinks I was doing this.

Well, I finally got to the point it was really starting to freak me out because they were FAKE they CAN'T move and talk. Even though I was young I knew that those books were fiction. Yet it was freaking me out so much I put Raggedy Ann and Andy in my closet! If they were the ones causing my dolls to wake up they had to be stopped so into the closet they went.

I had a friend over one day and she said that we had to play this game of who could stay in the closet the longest. She said it would be fun. So, sure, gullible me says that ya we could play.
So into the closet I went. Raggedy Ann and Andy were there. Raggedy Ann was looking at me. It was dark, it was scary and I KNEW this doll was alive. She was mad at me. She reached her arm out to me. I started freaking out, I wanted out of this closet yet I had to be brave and last in there. Then Raggedy Ann jumped at me and onto me. I FREAKED out. I flew out of the closet. I don't remember anything after that. NOTHING. I don't know how long I was in the closet. I don't even remember where my friend was or went. I just knew that Raggedy Ann was mad at me and she was after me.

I MADE my mother get rid of Raggedy Ann and Andy. Could not have anything of them. I got rid of the books, the dolls, and everything associated with them. They scared the hell out of me.

To this day I will not have them in my house. My mother found some Raggedy Ann and Andy pictures and wanted me to give them to the girls. I put them in the scary cabin! I wouldn't have them in the house. My mother thinks I'm just silly but she knows my fears are true.

How silly to be scared of Raggedy Ann and Andy.

My advice to you, don't let your empath child read those books!!!

Camper

Again, this is NOT our camper that we use to have BUT I do know mom has a pic of that somewhere but she lives in Illinois and I'm not going to be going there for about 2mos so this will have to do.

Our truck we had for the camper was green, if I remember correctly. I don't remember if the camper on the back matched or not.

I don't even remember how old I was or where we lived. I do remember that we went camping and we woke up to nothing but snow ALL around us. I think mom said this was the first time I had ever seen snow so it was very exciting.

The scary thing? I didn't sleep well at all!

My mom thinks I am able to move things with my mind too although I have yet to be able to do that in my ADULT life. I do honestly think that as a child I was able to do this. It would explain this story? Maybe? The next story too, "Raggedy Ann and Andy".

Like I said we were in this camper and we were trying to sleep. Well mom and dad were sleeping just fine up in their top bunk while I was down below.

I had this toy train that was made of plastic. It had the rubber horn that you pushed to make it choo-choo. You had to push the train to make it go, no battery toys at this age. :)

I was trying to sleep that night and this train kept choo-chooing. I kept thinking to myself why mom and dad couldn't HEAR this thing? Why wouldn't mom wake up? Did I even bring this train? I don't remember having it with us. I knew it was in a compartment because that's where the sound was coming from. When you pushed it it would make the clickety-clack noise as well. The scary thing is it decided to come OUT of it's compartment. It was getting closer and closer to me. I was scared out of my mind! My mother wasn't waking up at all.

That's all I remember. I don't know how I finally fell asleep. I use to pull the covers over my head and say fast and furious, "It's not real, make it go away." over and over again. I must have done this to make it stop.

The scary thing? That train wasn't with us! My mother says that I have moved things and brought things to me before. She said I use to be able to look at a present and tell her what was in them. She knew I had not unwrapped them or anything. She said I would lay my hands on the package and she would ask me what was in them and I would tell her. She was always so amazed by this. The other scary thing? That train had been one of my Christmas presents!

Needless to say I HATE camping to this day. I have another story about camping and I will tell that one later but I refuse to camp now. I can't imagine why?

I also recall getting stung by bees on the bottom of my foot in that camper! I still have the scar to prove it.

Camping, no thanks!

Possession

This is another story of me when I was a little girl and this was a very traumatic event for my mother.

Again, I don't remember this but my mother has told me the story many times. The funny thing is she use to tell the story but in a different way. She said it was too hard for me to know the truth about this story so she just left a certain spot. She didn't tell me until I was an adult the whole truth of this story.

I was probably about 5-6yrs old if memory serves me right. We lived in Tx. at the time. I THINK she said we lived in the trailer park but I'm not for certain on that part.

She said it was a normal day but I had woke up and I asked her if we could play a game that day. She asked what game would I like to play. I told her that I wanted to be the mommy for the day and her be the kid. She said that sounded like a fun game. So for that day we did just that, played role reversal.

She use to sew all my clothes. She is a VERY good seamstress. The picture of me on the blog is a dress she made. She does AWESOME work. Well she had a room just for sewing. When she would sit at the sewing machine to the left of her was the closet with mirror for doors, you remember those kind?

Well she said she was sitting there sewing and she wasn't sure what I was doing but I had come up to her and asked her if she would like a back rub. I have always given very good backrubs. She said that would be so nice of me to do that for her. So I put my hands on her shoulders and I started to give her a back rub. She said at first they were my hands and then they started to change. She said the hands were getting bigger and bigger and they weren't a little girls hands anymore. She said she became a bit nervous so she MADE herself look to the left into the mirrors to see who was rubbing her back. There stood her mother. Long brown hair, short, and petite. She just dropped her sewing and yelled, "Terri!Stop it!" She then whirled around and there I was standing there looking at her like she was crazy or something. She said she grabbed me and told me to get out of the room. She said we didn't go back in there for the rest of the day. She said I had told her afterwards that I was done playing mother/daughter reversal game.

The thing is my maternal grandmother died when my mother was 2yrs old. She died of uterine cancer. She had a very rough life but she has visited many many people since her death and she continues to do so.

My mother doesn't remember her mother but she does know what she looks like because of pictures. She says she knows there is a close connection to her mother though.

So, what happened? Well my Grandma Ruby took me and possessed me. I have been told I look like her. I look like my mother and my mother looks like Ruby so I guess in a way that's true. I'm just not short and petite like her and my mother. She decided she wanted to connect with my mother that day and she went thru me to do it. It was me who started the backrub but then my grandmother stepped in and finished the backrub.

I don't tell too many people that story because it really freaks them out. I don't think I have ever had that happen again but it is pretty freaky, even for me. That is the part my mother didn't tell me till I was an adult. She didn't think I would be able to handle that until I was an adult. She says it still gives her goosebumps to think about it.

That's my possession story. If you have one I would love to hear from you.

The Cabin

This is NOT the cabin we have. I'm sure I have a cabin picture somewhere but I'm too lazy to get up and find it and then I would have to figure out how to work the scanner again and because it's a 3 in one printer the scanner is all messed up anyway. It's time for a new one but I'm too lazy to get up and go look for one at the stores, I hate dealing with electronic employees. :)

Enough of that though!

We have this cabin, or so I call it in our yard. We have a pretty big yard and on this property is our house, garage, cabin, and a shed(or lack of a better term). It's actually quite cool the cabin AND the shed. The shed has attached to it a snowmobile shed but we don't use it because we have no snowmobile. I know, I know it's sad that we live in Minnesota and don't own a snowmobile! Geesh, how could we? Anyway, in this shed is a toilet even. It must have been an outhouse at one time? Who really knows. We joke about it all the time and have NEVER used it. Anyway, back to the cabin.

I call it a cabin but it could have just been a one room home at one time. Our house was built in the 70's and I know this cabin is older than that. It has a place where you can have a wooden stove and everything. You could hook up electricity to it also. It had one light, one medicine cabinet. It's pretty cool.

We used it for a "play house" for the girls. It was really cool at one point. The girls would play in it every now and then but they really didn't like it all that much. I was scared of it because I think an old man lives in it. Well, my youngest thinks there is an old man spirit in there also but she never really said anything about it.

I have envisioned this skinny old man who is just meaner than snot. EVERY time I would go into this cabin I would get hurt, in some way. Never failed. Even the girls, come to think of it, were getting hurt in there too. No matter who walks in there you get hurt. :( I don't think the old man really likes visitors.

I envisioned him on this lake and he used it as a fish house. NOT that he could do this but I do feel that the cabin has been moved from a lakeshore property to here at some point. I just don't know when.

Anyway, the reason why I'm writing about the cabin today is because we are doing some remodeling to it. If you want to call it that.

We are not very good keeper uppers. We let things go. Why? Well, I guess it's because I'm lazy and my hubby has too many ailments to prevent him from doing alot of things. Well he CAN do them but it takes alot of encouraging to get him to do them. He has RA and it can be very debilating.

Anyway, I get away from the story again. Darn, I hate when I do that!

We have to gut the cabin because the attic door had come open and so rain and snow and just the outside elements were getting into the attic. I had told someone to close this I don't know how many times but noone would so the roof, the ceiling and the walls are just gross. The roof needs repair. The ceiling was collapsing so we have to rip it down and the walls are mildewed. So they must come down. We were thinking about tearing the whole thing down but once the ceiling came down we found out that the frame of the cabin is still in really really good shape.

So anyway, we have been cleaning the cabin up this weekend. My hubby tore down the ceiling yesterday and gee he got HURT. I'm telling you this old man doesn't like people in HIS cabin!
In the ceiling was a bag of white dust but it weighs like 100lbs and it fell right onto my hubby's hand. Surprised it didn't break a finger or two! We were joking that it was a remains of someone because it's in an unlabeled brown paper sack. :)~

So, he tore down the ceiling and up in the ceiling are lots of wood parts. Don't know what they go to and will probably never know. So we were picking up the parts of the ceiling and putting them in the trashbags so we can eventually take all of this to the dump and I found this hymn book. It had the name C.L.(I'm leaving these initials for fear that the relatives might found this post and want secrecy). It has the full name on the hymn book but the date below the name is 1937! WOW, what a find. The funny thing is that this book is in really good shape. Even for all the mildew and such in the ceiling it has very little water damage at all. I told my hubby that I was going to keep this because I do believe he is the "old man"!

So I take this hymn book and I bring it into the house. A few minutes later my hubby is looking out the sliding glass door towards the cabin and he says, "Yep, he's pissed. He just walked by the sliding glass door on the deck!" Well, I immediately told this man that I was putting his hymn book back outside. I did.

We believe he is pissed as heck now because we are gutting out his home and we have his hymn book! He is not at all happy about this.

My daughter told us that she KNEW there was a man spirit in that play cabin forever but noone would believe her about this. She said now we have proof! She went on the internet last night to try and find something about him but she couldn't unless you pay for stuff. She said that he, if he is still alive, is about 80 something years old. She found the relatives of him which were the people who we bought this house from! It's truly amazing.

So, Mr. L. please don't be too mad at us about gutting out the cabin but we must do this to make it better!

The "others".

A Father's Love

This is a story my mother has told me since I was old enough to understand about paranormal things. Once I started telling my mother things that I saw or heard and totally understood them she was able to tell me stories from her own experiences and stories she had heard from our family. Like I said we have had a long line of people with "the gift".

This was before my dad was even in my mother's life. Her best friend at the time wanted her to house sit so my mom was all up for it. I don't think she ever told me exactly what state this was in but it does involve snow.

She was housesitting for her friend and was up in the bedroom trying to get some shut eye and she heard this car door. She looked out the window and saw a car in the driveway and a man getting out of the car with a red coat on. He was walking toward the door. My mom proceeded to the door and once she opened it there was NOONE there and no car BUT there were footprints in the snow leading up to the door. Yet noone was there. My mom was thinking she was going nuts and shut the door. You always doubt when things like this happen to you. She then was going to try to go back to bed but once again this car with the man in the red coat was outside in the driveway again. Once again my mother opened the door and the only thing there were those footprints. She was really started to get scared at this point because what the heck was going on! She was home alone and this car with the red coat man kept coming to this house but once opening the door the car and him were gone! This happened a total of three times in a row. My mom was pretty freaked out but she had to stay in this house because she had told her friend she would housesit.

The next morning some police officers showed up at the front door, the non disappearing kind. They asked my mom if she was so and so. They were looking for her best friend. My mom told them no she was housesitting for her but what did they want. They proceeded to tell my mother they needed to know her whereabouts because her father had died the night before and they needed to let her know. My mother asked them to please describe the man and tell her what he was wearing and driving. He was driving the car that was in the driveway with a, yep you guessed it, red coat! My mother was floored.

This man loved his daughter so much he was trying to get hold of her himself and let her know he was gone and to probably say his final good-bye. Yet every time my mother would open the door he would be gone knowing it wasn't his daughter. He tried 3 times to do this each time to discover his daughter wasn't home.

Now that's what I call fatherly love!

Father Daughter Connection

I have always been spiritually close to my father. I can't say that I'm close to him any other way. He is a military man(Air Force) and the whole time I was growing up he was gone on TDY or something. He is a very strict man to say the least. Ran the household like he would run his men. He was a drill sgt. at one point, a cop, a fireman, an EMT, and who knows what else. He knows his stuff. He has served on city councils and done many other things in his 62yrs of life. I love him dearly but my mother says we are just two peas in a pod and therefore we can't stay in the same room with each other for very long before one of us gets mad/aggrevated at the other.

Yet since I was a little girl I have been spiritually close to this man. He knows when something is "not right" with me. He has told my mother several times to call me and ask if everything is fine. He knew when I was pregnant before I even knew I was pregnant. It's an odd connection but one that is strong.

I guess my very first memory I have of having any type of ESP, "gift", "talent" or whatever you want to call it was when I was too young to remember. My mother has told me this story and that's the only reason I remember.

She says dad was off on TDY somewhere thousand of miles away and her and I were in her bedroom. She was going thru some clothes in the dresser and I was sitting coloring in a book. I just looked up at mom and said, "Daddy just had an accident." and went back to my coloring book. My mother told me I shouldn't say such things about my daddy.

That night my dad called and he talked about everything under the sun but mom said she could tell he was holding something back. Before the end of the conversation she finally asked him what happened to him. He acted like he didn't know what she was talking about. She said, "Well Terri said you had an accident and I want to know what she was talking about." My dad didn't believe in this ESP stuff so he wanted to know how in the world I would have known such a thing. My mother said she didn't know how I knew but I told her that my dad had an accident.

My dad proceeded to tell my mother that he was in a jeep going thru one of those electronic gates that lift up. As he proceeded thru the gate it came down on the jeep just inches from his body. He said it scared him to death.

That's the accident I saw my daddy have and that's the first memory I have of my "gift".

How it started?

Well, I guess I really can't say how it started to be exact. I guess it all started when I was born. My mother has it, my mother's mother had it, my aunt(on my mother's side) had it and so forth. I inherited this "gift".
I think my father has this "gift" too but he doesn't really like to admit that fact.
The thing is all my life people have said that it's not a gift but something the devil has created. I was raised in the south and alot of people, I don't think, are keen to this "gift" I possess. It scares them. I actually had a woman who babysat me tell my mom she could no longer babysit because I scared her, I read her mind and she just couldn't have a child doing this. Did I read her mind? I couldn't tell you, I don't remember. I do remember the woman though and her children and I liked her but she was scared of me. Amazing how a 6yr old can scare an adult but I achieved that somehow.
So for years and years I hid the fact that I had a special "gift". Just until a few years ago I didn't tell people until I knew them extreme well and knew they wouldn't think I was any stranger than they already had figured out.
I'm still a little leary on who I tell and I don't really like when friends tell other people about my "gift" if I don't know that other person well but I'm getting over that. I'm learning to accept it.
I doubt my "gift" all the time. Even when people say they are floored by what I have done I still doubt it was actually something I did.
I feel it's a "gift" from God, NOT the devil. I have read and seen other people with this "gift" say it's a gift from God so why should I believe any different?
So, what is this "gift" I speak of? Well, I don't really know how to explain it. My mother and i use to say it's ESP. Is that really what it is? A couple of people say I'm an empath. All I know is that I can "read" houses. I can tell you if a spirit has taken up space there. I can tell you if the house has been remodeled and what use to be where. Recently I have been able to read cars and tell you some interesting things. It's a developing "gift" and I welcome what it brings to me.
Now, I will write blogs about what I can remember and how they happened and then I could maybe go for months before another blog is written. I never know when someone is going to ask me to "read" them, their car, or their house. So you have to wait as long as I do. ;)
Hope you enjoy my collection.